I Will
by Hawker97
Summary: Things aren't well now for Paul and Jackie, now that they're on a break and unsure of the relationship they have together. They both know that what they had together was special and a one in a lifetime thing, so are they going to get back together, and if they do will they stay together? Some struggles lie ahead for them, but also a lot of happy memories that'll last a lifetime.
1. Chapter 1

_Paul's POV_

How could she do this to me? I'm not angry or mad at her, because I know that wouldn't do any good, but she broke my heart. I stay in Jamaica for the next week because I can't go back to the house and have all those things of hers and memories hit me and remind me of her. Jamaica was incredibly lonely, but good to be somewhere new without the bloody press. Some men would go find some random bird to sleep with but I couldn't even muster that thought, I don't want that and technically we're on a break.

When I came home it was so overwhelming and I just broke down and stayed in bed all day crying and cuddling with Martha.

"Hey there Macca. How was the holiday with the Mrs? Did you get some sexy time?" John asks me as i walk into the studio being in the same depressed and short tempered mood I've been on since it happened.

"Fuck off, John." I say and walk over to my bass and scratch my cheek.

"What's yer problem?" he asks and George and Ritchie walk away to talk or go up to the control room.

"Jackie left me." i admit as I change my mind and sit down at the piano and he walks over with his guitar in hand and he looks shocked and surprised. I still am and I can't bring my mind to comprehend this, I still want to think I'll see her when I wake up or that she's out at the store.

"What happened?" he asks me as I look down at the piano keys and I play the little thing I came up when I came home yesterday, some tune I've made up and put a few words to.

"I don't even know, John. I really wish I did. It was on the flight there and one minute we're talking about getting married and the next she won't look at me and says she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore." I say as I keep my eyes on the keys. I remember it all so clearly and it bugs me so much remembering every word that was said.

"I'm sorry, Paul." he says and I nod.

"I, we're on a break I guess. She's not decided what she wants, but I just want her back. It's all my fault, John." I say and I sigh and cover my face with my hands.

"Give her time." he says and I let out a frustrated sigh.

"I have John, I've given her a week and it's already felt like a month." I say and I hear the door upstairs open and our producer comes down interrupting our conversation and I hardly listen as I plunk the keys of the piano while I have these poetic words running though my mind, possible lyrics.

The lads talk while I sit there and finger the piano keys while thinking of this line that I can't forget.

"**_You want her, you need her, and you don't believe her when she says her love is dead_**.." I sing softly while playing the little piano part I came up with.

We do the session and afterwards John comes over and we stay up and fiddle with the line I came up with and end up finishing the whole song in a matter of hours with plenty of revisions to it, I wanted it to be perfect. Basically a song about Jackie leaving me like she did, from a second point of view like how somebody would see me suffering from it.

* * *

I walk past her things every day for the next two weeks, her clothes, jewelry, her journal, and my pictures of her which catch me off guard each time. Walking back from the studio one night I see a blonde whose a dead ringer for Jackie and I think about inviting her over, what me being the lonely man I am now should do, but I couldn't even bring myself to a thought of having another girl at my house. A girl who isn't my dearest Jackie.

* * *

I wake up one morning and decide to call Holly and ask about my love.

"How is Jackie?" I ask Holly after we greet each other.

"Really?" she asks and I tell her yes.

"She's nothing like herself, she's like a zombie and I haven't seen her smile for days or even laugh. The nursing home was reluctant to have her back and she works every day and when she isn't working she's exercising, she's working herself too hard Paul. She's lost weight, she doesn't eat enough and her working so much isn't good for her body." she says what my ears don't want to hear. I want her to be happy and to be okay and she isn't, she's horrible.

"Holls, will you promise me you'll take care of my baby?" I ask.

"Of course I will, I'm doing my best without causing her to leave." she says.

"I know yer doing yer best, Holls. I want her to be happy and to be okay." I tell her.

"She needs you, Paul. I can't see her being happy and okay without you, she'll work her body to being sick sooner or later." Holly says and I nod to myself. I don't understand her, she thinks she's better off without me but now she's unhealthy?

"Keep me updated and if she gets significantly worse, don't hesitate to ring me." I say. Jackie is stubborn and she won't admit some things and one of them is not being okay or sick, but I don't care I'm not gonna let her hurt herself.

"I won't." she says.

"Bye Holls, take care of yourself, love. I hope David is treating you well." I say since I care about Holly, I care about anybody who is close to Jackie or is her family.

"He is, thanks. You take care of yourself too, I hope your doing good." she says.

"Thanks Holls." I say not saying that I'm a wreck and we both hang up and I go to take Martha for a walk, I need out of this house.


	2. Chapter 2

_Paul's POV_

Holly calls me two days later and tells me that Jackie will barely talk to her and she won't hardly eat or talk to anybody really, so I decide to fly out there. If she doesn't want me there fine, but I'm not gonna let her make herself sick. All while the flight I worry about her and i'm apprehensive but excited to see her again. I get to their apartment and nervously knock and Jackie answers. Her face is pale and she's thinner then when I had last seen her and she has always had a curvy and full body that I love and now she barely looks like herself.

"What are you doing here?" she asks as I look her up and down. I've missed her so badly.

"I came to see you." I admit.

"I haven't decided." she says.

"Fine, if you haven't then that's alright with me but I'm not going to let you starve yourself to death, Jackie." I say as I talk with my hands and she crosses her arms over her stomach.

"I'm not starving myself!" she protests and I tsk tsk.

"What is this? I can feel yer bone, Jackie! That's sick and horrible!" I say as I softly grab her arm and feel her bone.

"What's happened to you?" I ask bewildered by this.

"I'm not sick, Paul! I've just gotten into shape." she says and I shake my head.

"Gotten into shape?! You were already in shape, Jackie. I loved yer body just how it was." I say and she pulls back her arm and walks into the empty apartment.

"Don't tell me what to do, Paul!" she says.

"I'm not darling, I just. Yer not healthy and I want the best for you, you know that and you're not okay Jackie and I know you won't admit it to me!" I say and she wanders over to the couch and sits down and I sit beside her and wrap my arm around her and she cuddles into me and it's so good to have her right next to me.

"Paul, why are you really here?" she asks me.

"Because I care about you, love. I've heard you haven't been well lately and I wanted to see you." I admit and she nods as she stares down at her lap.

"Will you take me back?" she asks sheepishly and I can't believe she'd ask if I will.

"Theoretically or really?" I ask.

"Really." she says turning to me with tears in her eyes.

"Of course I will, darling. What would make you think that I wouldn't?" I say as I wipe her tears away with my thumb.

"Because apparently I'm sick and for breaking your heart in the first place." she confesses and I pull her into my arms as I wrap my arms around her waist that's a bit smaller then the last time we hugged and she cries into my chest.

"I want you to get better, darling and I would've been more hurt if you left me for good." I say and she nods into my chest and I pull her onto my lap and she lays her head on my chest and I push the hair out of her eyes and I kiss the top of her head.

"I love you so much and I'm so so sorry." she says and buries her face back into my chest and cries again.

"It's okay, darling. Shh it's okay, you don't need to cry, honey." I say as I rub her back. "Is she mine again?" I wonder to myself.

"I love you." I hear her mutter into my chest.

"I love you too. I've been so broken without you." I confess.

"Same here." she says and I kiss the top of her head and rub her back.

"How does a nap sound to you right now?" I ask her and I hear her murmur 'great'. I walk into her old room and we both lay down and I pull her into my arms and rub her back and hum to her until she falls asleep and I soon fall asleep too.

We slept for a few hours and it was the best I had slept probably since the last time we literally slept together, just sleeping in a bed together.

I wake up to Jackie whose next to me tossing and turning while crying and I sit up and shake her shoulder to wake up.

"Jackie darling, wake up!" I say and she keeps tossing and so I pull her into my arms and she wakes up and continues to cry.

"Shhh it's okay, you're alright. I'm right here." I say softly as my arms are around her and she nods into my chest.

"What's with you and nightmares?" I ask her jokingly and I hear her sweet little giggle, ah how I've missed it.

"I don't know." she says with a laugh.

"Are they any better when I'm with you?" I ask testing my little theory.

"Yeah, I guess and you always make me feel better afterwards." she says and I smile to myself and kiss the top of her head and continue to rub her back and I sing to her.

"Don't leave." i hear her say and I sigh and rest my cheek on her head.

"I won't, darling. I'm not going to leave you, you know that and there's nowhere else I'd rather be then here with you." I say and I feel her nod into my chest and I pull the brown blanket from her bed over her and I still rub her back.

"I don't deserve you." she says and I frown at her being so self consciousness, not like her usual bubbly self at all.

"Yes you do. You deserve to be loved, Jackie." I say and she looks up at me and I push the hair from her eyes and kiss both of her wet cheeks and then her tender lips softly.

"Be happy." I say.

"Will you call my work and resign for me?" she says as she cuddles back into my chest and I lay down with her on top of me.

"I can't really do a high pitched voice, love. They'd know it wasn't you." I say and we both laugh lightly.

"Hmmph. I totally forgot about college, you know." she says.

"Do you still want to go to college? The semester ends in two months." I say.

"I don't know, would there even be a point in it?" she asks and I think of if there would be and I immediately think of our future, one that I hope will happen for us.

Us having babies of our own is what I think of. I'd bring that up but she's real delicate right now and I don't think it'd be best to bring that up at the moment.

"It's all up to you, love. You don't have to go to college, you know." I say as I rest my hands on her lower back beneath her shirt on her warm skin. Gosh I missed her so badly, just to be laying with her like this is simply wonderful.

"I don't see a point in it." she says and I nod to myself.

"Go on any dates with any old men while working there again?" I ask her and I watch as the corners of her mouth rise into a grin and she lightly laughs.

"No, I got offers though and one proposed to me." she says and I chuckle wholeheartedly, it felt good to laugh.

"Oh, I just might have to go and tell 'im off, J." I say playfully and she laughs.

"One of the ladies the other day was like: 'You're the girlfriend of that beatle aren't you? He's a good looking guy you lucky girl, make sure you don't lose him to any of us old prunes'." she says and I laugh at her words and she does too.

"She honestly thinks she'd have a chance with me?" I ask with a soft laugh.

"Apparently." she answers.

"The only prune I'd ever want to be with is this one here in my arms, when we're 80 in wheelchairs in a home while we're trying to sleep together and having our kids visit us and we try to convince em to bust us out, but they never do!" I say and we both laugh at my made up story.

**AN: What're you thinking? I told you it'd get better for them, but they still have some tough things ahead. **


	3. Chapter 3

_Paul's POV_

"I missed you so much, Paul. I made such a big mistake leaving you. I can't live without you and I've hated being away from you these past two weeks." I hear Jackie say as I run my fingers up and down her warm back.

"Why'd you leave, Jackie? I never got an explanation." I say since i want and need to know. I need to know what to work on with our relationship.

"We fought so much lately and we're both so immature. And marriage Paul, I don't want you to rush into it because you feel as if you have to, I want you to be ready for it too whenever that would be." she says as she's in my arms. Maybe I am rushing into the idea of marriage and I'd honestly like to wait because we're both still young.

"What made you want to leave me so badly? What did I do to make you leave me?" I ask desperately.

"I don't know what did, just all of those things combined and I thought if I was having those thoughts of not staying, then I shouldn't." she says and I sigh.

"If you're really gonna be in this Jackie, you just can't leave like that again. I can't lose you darling because you mean the whole world to me and I love you so much. I want to have so much with you and none of that can happen if you leave again." I say.

"I know." she says.

"If you're gonna come back with me, if you're gonna be with me, you have to let me know what's going on with you, love. This is serious, Jackie. Our relationship is a serious thing and it's always been serious to me for the past two years. I'm not in it for just the sex or any of the great things that come with it, I'm in it for the longshot and for it to last. Are you ready for that? Because I couldn't handle it if you let me again." I admit.

"I've always taken it seriously, Paul." I hear her answer.

"I care about you Jackie, more then I think you could ever understand. I love you so much and I want the best life for you, I'm willing to provide that for you, darling. Clothes, money, food, a house, maybe marriage and kids one day but if you can't see that happening with me or if you don't want a future like that with me and you think you'd be better off with somebody else then tell me now. Because I'm not going to continue this to just have my heart broken again." I confess. I'm giving her two options and I'm so nervous to which one she will choose. She raises her head and rests her chin on her hands to look at me.

"You think I don't want that with you?" she asks and I don't understand what is behind her words, what she really does want.

"I don't know what to think, Jackie. I haven't for the past two weeks because I never thought you'd leave me and then you did so I've been having so many doubts. I need to know what you want." I say sadly as we look at each other.

"I want what I've always wanted, Paul. I'm so sorry I made you think differently and that I hurt you so badly when I thought it'd be better if we had time apart or that I'd be better off not being with you. I do want all of that with you, marriage and kids one day because I honestly couldn't see myself with any other man or marrying another man or any other man being the father of my children. I won't leave you again, I promise you that because I made the wrong decision and I'm so incredibly sorry how it hurt and affected us both but I won't leave again, I couldn't and I'm sorry I did." she says and a big smile appears on my face and she smiles too.

"I love you so much, Jacqueline Elizabeth Anderson." I state as I run my fingers across her cheek.

"I love you more and more every day, James Paul McCartney." she says and she sits up as I do too and I bring her into my arms. I wrap my arms around her tightly because i never want her to go and she molds her body into mine and I'm so incredibly happy she promised that she won't leave again.

"I love you, there's nothing that you or I could do for you to lose my love." I say honestly and she moves and looks at me with a smile and I smile too.

"You make it so hard to reply with something sweet to say, you're hard to trump." she says and we both laugh even though it wasn't real funny but we both laugh.

"Sorry, it's just because I love you so extremely much." I say and she smiles and presses her lips against mine and it felt so good to have her lips against mine and having her warm pair moving against mine for a minute until we both pulled apart for air.

"How long are you staying for?" she asks.

"I can stay a few days, love. Which will be enough to get some more meat on yer bones! Let's go raid Holly's fridge!" I say playfully and we both laugh and peel our bodies from each other and walk hand in hand into the kitchen. We decide to make a fun and delicious lunch: spaghetti with homemade garlic bread and cookies.

"Stop getting flour all over the place!" Jackie whines as I'm doing a terrible job at measuring it.

"It's not all over the place yet!" I say back and flick some flour at her and she laughs and dusts off her shoulder and i wrap my arms around her and touch my lips to her sweet smelling hair as our arms are around each other. We actually succeed at making cookies and spaghetti and do the dishes afterwards then we decide to go to her room and make love afterwards, which was overdue.


	4. Chapter 4

I wake up in Paul's arms and I feel like such an idiot, I don't deserve him but he disagrees when I said that. I lift my head off of his warm chest to look up at him to see him sleeping peacefully as his arms are loosely around my waist. I run my finger along his stubbly cheek, he hasn't shaved in awhile I notice. I rest my chin on my hands that lay on his chest. I feel so bad for hurting him like I did, I thought I didn't want to be with him but these past two lonely weeks easily shot that theory down. I love him so much and I want to be with him forever and I can't believe I left him, it was so stupid of me. Yeah I've lost weight but I wasn't starving myself, I've just forgotten to eat a few times because I've been so busy but my body aches from working so hard and all that pointless exercise. I feel Paul stir beneath me as his legs move and he shifts his body in the bed and I watch as he brings his hands to his eyes and rubs them and I stare at the empty pillow on the other side of the bed as he wakes up and I think of how I made such a big mistake.

"Good afternoon, darling." I hear Paul say and I look to him as he smiles and I smile back, I love him. He moves so we're on our sides but we keep our arms around each other as we look at each other and he strokes my cheek.

"What's wrong?" he asks me and I rest my forehead against his bare chest.

"I just feel so bad for leaving you." I admit as I feel his hands slowly stroke my back.

"I know you do, darling and it's alright because it's in the past and there's nothing neither of us can do about it." he says quietly and I nod into his chest.

"Do you forgive me for it?" I ask.

"Yes, I do." I hear him say and I thank him. He starts to hum some tune and I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths.

"It's alright, J." he says wrapping his arms tighter around me and using one to caress my head.

"I know, I just feel so bad!" I say sadly and he kisses my head repeatedly.

"Darling, there's nothing you can do about it and it does no good dwelling on it. I forgave you and you need to forgive yourself." he says sweetly and I nod into his chest.

* * *

He stays for a few days and then we go back to London and it was good to be back and to be with him. We went back to our usual schedule basically where he works a lot and I spend time with Cyn and Mo or just at home with the pets. Not much changed over the next months, it was just same old same old and Paul went on tour during the summer and I again stayed with Cyn while the boys were gone and Paul wrote and called somewhat often. He said how they were getting so fed up with touring with not being able to hear themselves, their equipment getting rained on and they weren't getting any respect from the fans and so they secretly decided they were done with touring, even though Paul wanted to continue. The band spent more time in the studio getting into new recording techniques and really improving and changing their sound, they were really starting to grow up a bit from the lanky boys they first were when beatlemania happened and now at christmas Paul's got a mustache and we're both slowly maturing, but we still have our childish moments.

"J wake up, it's Christmas!" I hear Paul say as he jumps on the bed and I pull the covers up higher and groan.

"Go away!" I whine and hear him chuckle and he pulls the comforter from me as I fight and whine.

"C'mon we gotta go open presents, love!" he says like a giddy little kid as he's in a t shirt and pajama pants, like always.

"I wanna sleep!" I whine and he plops down on the bed beside me and pulls me into his warm chest and I snuggle into his warm body as he wraps his arms around me and pulls the comfort back over us.

"Shave that caterpillar off, will ya?" I whine as I look up at him and finger his mustache.

"I like it, it's like my little buddy keepin' me warm!" he says and I laugh and roll my eyes.

"I hate it, you look weird with it!" I say as I feel his warm hands trail up and down my back under my shirt as we look at each other lovingly.

"I'll shave it off sometime soon, it's bloody itchy anyways!" he says and I laugh and nod.

"How long?" I ask him.

"I dunno, a few months, I gotta have it for the cover shoot." he says and I nod remembering him telling me about his big idea for the new album they're working on and how much work is being put into it.

"You do look pretty damn sexy with it though." I admit as I stroke his soft cheek and he winks at me and press my lips against his and kiss him.

"I love you." i say against his perfect lips as we stare at each other.

"I love you too, baby." he answers and I smile and rest my forehead against his.

"We have to go to my dad's around noon for lunch, and would you mind helping Ang with the dinner? Considering yer great cooking skills." he says seriously and I nod and he does too and kisses my cheek.

"C'mon J, I've been waiting weeks to open yer presents and for you to open mine!" paul whines as he gets out of the warm bed and I nod and get out to expose my body to the nippy air and so I grab a blanket to wrap around myself.

"Wow, somebody's enthusiastic!" I mutter sleepily as I walk down the stairs with him in front of me, walking very slow.

"Hurry up Jimmy, you're such a slow walker!" I say playfully to him.

"Well I'm sorry I don't walk as fast as you do, Jacqueline Elizabeth!" Paul says in a mocking tone and I laugh at him and we get downstairs and Paul bounds for the tree over in the living room.

**AN: Something big is coming up, that's all I'm going to say. I hope you're liking these parts by the way, leave a review if you wanna, I'd love to read them! **


	5. Chapter 5

"Why're you so excited?" I ask him with a yawn as I lay down on the couch and Martha immediately lays by me on the floor and I pet her, getting my fingers caught in her fur.

"It's Christmas, who wouldn't be excited?" Paul says like a little kid and I laugh and close my eyes as he's over by the tree.

"Ey, no falling asleep Missy!" I hear Paul say and I groan and lean into the couch.

"I'm cold." I whine and I hear him chuckle as he walks over and lays right next to me and pulls me on top of him as I soak in the heat of his warm body.

"Mmm, much better." I say as I snuggle into his body as he wraps his arms around me and covers us with another blanket while I feel his feet stroking mine as our legs are caught together.

"So what'd ya get me for christmas, J?" I hear Paul whisper as I feel his fingers underneath my shirt.

"I'm not telling." I mumble into his heated chest.

"Ah c'mon." I hear him whine and I giggle into his warmth.

"Shave that rat off your face and I'll tell." I say playfully and I hear him chuckle.

"It always tickles me when we kiss, so I don't like to kiss you." I mutter.

"Aww." I hear Paul say sadly.

"What if I grew a beard, huh?" he says.

"I'd never kiss you." I joke and I hear him gasp.

"Jacqueline Elizabeth Anderson!" he says fake dramatically.

"What?" I mumble into his chest.

"Do you wanna go up to the farm after Christmas is over?" I hear him ask.

"When?" I ask.

"I dunno, tomorrow or the next day." he says and I lift my head to look at him and nod and he winks at me and I roll my eyes in return. I move closer to his face and I press my lips against his warm pair and even though his stupid mustache tickles me, I wouldn't give up kissing him and we kiss for a minute as his hands rest on my back.

"Mm I love you." he says after I pull away and I giggle.

"I love you too, honey." I say as we share eye contact as my chin rests on my hands that lay on his chest.

"I hope you didn't spend all of your money on me." I say referring to the presents.

"I would if I could but you won't let me." he says as he stretches and yawns and I poke his chest.

"Money isn't everything you know." I say.

"I know, thats because yer my everything." he says sweetly with a warm smile and I blush and return the smile.

"Aww you're such a romantic." I say with a smile.

"Only for you, baby. I'm not exactly proud of my previous relationships." he says and only offers that much information.

"Same here, but all that matters is this one." I say and I poke his chest and he smiles weakly.

"What is it?" I ask him nervously since he seems sad or bothered by something.

"I wasn't the nicest or as good as I am to you with some of my ex girlfriends." he says uneasily and I nod.

"Jackie, I erm. When I was 20 I got my girlfriend pregnant and when she lost the baby I left her. I was a immature kid who wasn't ready to be a dad and I didn't want to be in that kind of commitment or situation having a baby so young." he says nervously as I'm taking in this new and surprising information.

"But i'd like for us to get married first, not so we can have a baby and not because I'd leave you if I accidentally got you pregnant before we're married. I just know you'd prefer it that way and so would I." he says and I nod.

"I wouldn't leave you if something like that happened, I'd never leave you. I couldn't do that." he says and I nod as we look at each other and I see in his eyes that he means what he says.

"Theoretically if I ended up pregnant tomorrow, what would you do?" I ask slowly.

"Stay with you, I wouldn't have to think about it, love. Get married maybe." he says and i nod understanding.

"Get married just because I'm gonna have your baby?" I ask and he shakes his head slowly.

"Not the sole reason, I want to marry you anyways." he says and I smile at his words.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure you won't end up pregnant unintentionally because yer on the pill and we're careful. We'll have a baby when we're ready, love." he says sweetly and I nod.

"When do you want a baby?" I ask him nervously in a theoretical type of way.

"Well erm, after we're married I'd like to wait until then. There's no rush J, we're both fairly young and we've almost been together 3 years." Paul says and I nod in agreement and Paul looks away from me and still seems to be bothered by his confession.

"Hey it's okay." I say as I stroke his cheek and he looks back to me and flashes a weak smile.

"I just don't want you to think I'd do that to you, because I wouldn't J. I was a immature bastard who wasn't ready to be tied down with a baby, because we were engaged before I broke it off." he admits and I nod. There's that small chance that I couldn't be with him, if he hadn't broken up with this girl we wouldn't be together and even though it was bad what he did, i'm glad he did it.

"If you wouldn't of done it, we wouldn't be together. So look at it that way." I say as I poke his nose and he smiles as we look at each other lovingly.

"Good point, love." I say and he nods.

"I love you, Jacquelyn Elizabeth Anderson." he says sweetly in a serious tone.

"I love you too, James Paul McCartney." I answer and give him a sweet kiss.

"I like calling you James." I say and he chuckles.

"I like calling you Jacquelyn." he says and I snicker and shake my head.


	6. Chapter 6

"Let's open presents!" Paul says and I groan and lay my head on his chest.

"What's wrong, love?" Paul asks me as I feel his hands stroke my lower back.

"I stink at buying you presents." I admit.

"No you don't, you buy me great presents." he disagrees and I shake my head into his chest.

"Yours are always way better." I say.

"J, it's not like I care all that much about what you get me or that I'll make a big deal out of it, because I won't and I always love what you get me, whatever it may be." he says and I let out a sigh and lift my head to look at him.

"Don't worry about it, you worry about things too much, love." he says sweetly and I nod as we look at each other and he caresses my cheek.

"I love you." he says simply and sweetly and I smile at his words.

"I love you too." I respond and he smiles and makes a goofy face which causes me to laugh and grin from ear to ear.

"What am I gonna do with you?" I ask him playfully and he chuckles as I watch him laugh.

"You mean so much to me." I say in a serious tone as I stroke his chubby cheek.

"And you Ms. Anderson, will never know just how much you mean to me." he says sweetly as we stare intently at each other.

"It's kind crazy how all of this happened, how we met and it all went from there." I state and he nods.

"Yeah it was, that day we first met I never would've thought that we'd end up dating, let alone now being together for 3 years." he says then looks sorry.

"What I mean is I just, i didn't think that it would happen or that we would get along so well." he says and I nod with a smile.

"I was so incredibly nervous that day." I confess.

"So was I." he admits.

"Why?" I ask him.

"Because I didn't think a beautiful bird whose a fan would walk through that door and I was nervous to talk to you and I didn't want you to leave either." he explains and I nod with a proud smile.

"You were nervous, huh?" I ask him with a smirk.

"Mmhmm, I was afraid I'd screw up when I talked to you and I'm usually not so nervous around birds or apprehensive to talk to them. With you, I dunno. You were, and are, different in a good way, not like like other girls and yer so bubbly and friendly." he says and I smile and blush at his words.

"I was so nervous to talk to you, you being my favorite beatle and all and then you're standing in front of me and I felt like anything I would say would sound stupid." I admit with a huff and he grins.

"That's usually the effect I have on women." he says with a grin and I poke his nose and he laughs.

"I dunno why you were so nervous, love. I'm basically just like any other guy." he says and I nod remembering how I realized that that day.

"I don't know why you were nervous to meet me, I'm nothing special." I say and he shakes his head.

"Oh yes you are, you are very special to me, Jackie. You always have been and you always will be special to me, darling." he says sweetly with serious eyes and he pokes my nose and I giggle with a smile and flushed cheeks.

"I never thought anything would happen with us, I thought you'd think I was just like any other fan." I admit shyly and he purses his lips.

"Yeah maybe I stereotyped a little bit at first, but you shot down that theory right away. You didn't jump on me right when you saw me, so I immediately liked you." he says and I giggle with a grin.

"No really, I was relieved you didn't. I remember being embarrassed because we were all fighting about us ditching school and how that'd influence you and then you were the mother hen telling us all to stop fighting." he reminisces and we both laugh at the memory.

We catch each others gaze and hold it as we stare at each other lovingly and he moves so we're on our sides and crushes his lips against mine in a passionate way and I kiss him back quickly as I get my fingers tangled in his hair and his hands grip my waist. Our lips move together at a perfect pace in a sweet way as we enjoy kissing the other deeply and feeling their pair of warm lips against our own. Gosh I love him so much and I can easily tell that he loves me a lot too by how he kisses me, it's incredibly sweet and passionate. After a number of seconds he pulls away from the kiss and we look at each other with small, pleased smirks on our faces.

"I'm so happy I fell in love with you." he says softly and I smile as he says his words.

"I'd say some sweet thing that means the same thing, but you're too good with words and make that really hard." I say and he chuckles and moves in to peck me on the lips.


	7. Chapter 7

We open our presents which wasn't anything special, but clothes, jewelry for me, and some other great things. Paul's in the shower as I'm getting dressed and I went over to throw all of our dirty clothes in the hamper when I spot a plastic bag hid under some of Paul's dirty socks with white powder in it and I just hope it isn't what I fear it is. I leave his socks there and lay back on the bed and I chew on my thumbnail as what I saw bugged me but I try to brush it off. I close my eyes and right then Paul comes out of the bathroom and I hear drawers being opened and closed and his towel being dropped.

"Tired?" I hear him ask me and I shake my head with my eyes closed.

"What's wrong then?" he asks me and I shake my head again without saying anything. Would he do this again by keeping this from me too?

"J?" he says as I feel him crawl onto the bed and lay beside him and i feel him brush the hair out of my face and let the tips of his fingers run across my cheek.

"What's wrong, love?" he asks me.

"What's that plastic bag with white powder in it on your dresser?" I ask him and open my eyes to see his eyes and face both expressionless as his hair is wet and he's fully dressed.

"It's nothing." he says and I can tell he's lying.

"Are you lying to me?" I ask him boldly.

"No." he says and I exhale, but I have a weird feeling he isn't telling me the truth. Did he really just lie to my face?

"Is it cocaine, Paul?" I ask quietly and he bites his lip.

"Don't you dare lie to me when you said you don't want secrets in this relationship or us lying to each other." I say and he says nothing as his facial expression doesn't change.

"It isn't cocaine." he says and I groan and sit up.

"Why won't you tell me the truth?" I say angrily as I stand up and so does he and we face each other.

"I am telling the truth." he says and i roll my eyes.

"I know what cocaine looks like, Paul. My uncle did it when I was in high school, so I know what the damn stuff looks like." I say angrily as I'm mad that he would lie like that to me.

"Why does it fucking matter if i do drugs, Jackie?" he yells.

"You know damn right why, Paul!" I say since I grew up being around two addicts in my family and I swore when I was little that I'd never touch drugs or a bottle of liquor.

He knows that and I've talked to him about it before and now he's just turning around on me and not in a good way. No wonder why there's been what looks somewhat like sugar in his pants pockets and why he comes home from the sessions a bit loopy and angry sometimes.

"If it's that big of a damn problem for you then, tough luck because I'm not going to give up doing them just for you!" he yells as he's coming off as a completely different person then the Paul I know.

"What do you want, Paul? You want me to be okay with you doing pot and cocaine and drinking?!" I say back as I feel my throat get itchy, signaling the arrival of tears.

"What the hell do you think I fucking want?!" he yells back as he gets angrier and angrier as so do I, but I'm getting more sad.

"You knew I wouldn't be okay with it, Paul. Did you want me to find it?! Do you want me to leave?!" I ask and I say the last line in a sad tone as I realize that.

"No Jackie, I don't want you to leave." he says sadly and no longer yelling.

"I can only take so much, Paul." I say and I cross my arms and look at my feet. I'm really not all that important to him, now that he said he wouldn't give up drugs for me. I feel a tear escape my eye as I try so hard to not cry right now, why are we having these big hiccups?

"Jackie baby, don't cry." I hear him say and he walks over to me and wraps his arms around me and I let him hug me but I don't hug him back, I can't muster myself to wrap my arms around him.

"Hug me back". I hear him say and i shake my head.

"I can't." I say and I start to cry hard.

"It's easy, just do this." I hear him say sadly and with little hope in his voice as he takes my arms and wraps them around his waist and they fall and he wraps his arms tight around me as he cries into my shoulder.

"Don't leave, Jackie. Please baby, don't leave me. Please, please darling don't leave me I couldn't handle it if you did." he cries into my neck.

"I don't know." I mumble.

"I'll stop baby, I'll stop using." he says and I shake my head into his chest.

"No you won't, I know you won't." I say and he moves away to look at me with sad eyes.

"Maybe we're not meant to be together forever, Paul." I say and I see his face immediately fall at my words and more tears fall from his eyes at my statement.

"Maybe we're not." he says and I'm sad he's giving up and not fighting for me.

"But I want to be with you, Jackie. We can get married next month if you want." he says and I shake my head and cry.

"That won't make it better, Paul. I don't want to be with a man who uses drugs that could possibly kill him. I don't want to find you on the bathroom floor dead because you overdosed, Paul. I want you to be healthy and happy and to have a great life." I admit.

"I can only have that with you, Jackie!" he says sadly.

"I can't live without you, I'd go mad and just use more drugs and drink loads if you left me." he says. I don't have a choice now?

"I can't lose you, Paul." I say.

"Then don't leave me!" he says.

"I could still lose you because of your habit!" I say and imagine all the other drugs people use nowadays and that he could get into heroine, the worst.

"What others have you used?" I ask.

"Just LSD once." he admits and I gasp a little and shake my head.

"You know, other girls wouldn't be so controlling over their boyfriends about whether they use drugs or not and which ones! It's the damn sixties, Jackie. Hundreds, maybe even thousands of people around the world use drugs!" he yells turning back into that mean, tough, short tempered Paul that I hate.

"Then get another girlfriend, Paul. Because I'm done with all of this fighting and you sure as hell seem to want to be with some other girl who will smoke dope with you and snort coke." I say and I find my feet and burst out of the room down the stairs.

"Have the realtor call me about getting my name taken off the two damn houses, cause I don't want my fricken names on them!" I say as I hear his loud feet behind me.

"No Jackie, don't leave. I didn't mean that, I don't want another girlfriend. I want you as my girlfriend." I hear him say and I grab my jacket and shoes.

"Tell your family I say hi and that I'll really miss them. Your dad should know that he did a shitty job of his raising his son." I say and I see his sad face and I open the door to leave.

"Where are you gonna go when it's 10 degrees out with snow everywhere, huh? Just stay okay? We can work this out, Jackie." he says as I walk down the stairs and go for the gate.

"Leave me alone, Paul." I call back and I think of how the damn fans can probably hear us, just great. I can see '**Beatle Paul McCartney and American girlfriend break up!**' being the headline of some tabloid, they haven't stayed out of our personal life so why back out now?

"Why should I stay, huh? Give me 3 reasons why I should stay, Paul." I say as I turn to him as his arms around himself since he has no jacket on.

"Because I need you more than you know, because I love you and I accidentally fuck it up with you sometimes and we get into these yelling matches but it's because we love each other and couldn't handle to lose the other even though we have these rows and act like we hate each others guts but we really just love each other and are so close." he says while shivering as we share an intent eye contact.

"Third reason?" I ask.

"I was going to propose to you up at the farm." he says and my jaw drops.

**AN: Well, what do you think of what's happening?**


	8. Chapter 8

"Propose?" I say as I'm surprised.

"Mmhmm, I even have a ring and I asked for your dad's blessing. I'm ready for you to be my wife, J and for us to be married and to have a baby." he says and I nod as I try to take this in.

"But now, you won't marry me." he says sadly as he's discouraged and he glances to the new snow and I watch tears stream down his cheeks.

"I was really so excited and ready to propose, Jackie! I thought about what the wedding would be like, you finally being Mrs. McCartney and what our babies would look like someday. We'd have a girl first and she'd have my hair and yer beautiful blue eyes and lips and yer bubbly personality…" he says trailing off sadly and I hear him sniffle as I look at my hands.

"Maybe we're just meant to marry other people, Paul." I say and I look at him to see his hands in his pockets and him kicking at the snow with his boot.

"I guess if you want to think that, but I'll never think that, Jackie because I-I love you like crazy and I couldn't wait till we went to the farm so I could propose. My dad, ah my dad, I'm supposed to show him the ring this afternoon." he says and starts to cry and wipes his tears away.

"He was so happy to hear I was finally going to marry you." he says whilst crying still.

"There's plenty of other girls out there that you can marry." I say softly.

"That's the thing, J! You're not other girls and other girls aren't you, you're special and unique! I wouldn't want to marry any other bird! Just you Jackie, you and only you." he says using his hands and he sighs and returns them to his pockets.

"I wish you could know how sorry I am for hurting you by fighting all these times, yelling at you and saying those things I didn't mean, because I want you and I want to be with you." he says.

"I can't stay." I blurt out and I watch him slowly nod and gulp as he cries again. He walks towards me and we give our farewell hug.

"I hope you can bring yourself to forgive me one day. I love you, Jackie. I always will, so come back if you ever want to." he says and I nod into his neck and start to uncontrollably sob as I realize what I'm doing.

"I'll call the movers for yer stuff, I won't let em leave a thing behind." he says as our arms are tightly around each other and I nod into his neck again as I don't trust my voice.

"The girls will miss you." he says as we both continue to cry.

"I hope you can somehow and someday forgive me for breaking your heart, Paul. I hope you're happy and that you find somebody who loves you and who will give you the world. The woman you marry and have children with. I love you too." I cry into his neck and he nods into mine.

"I want that for you too, to be with a man who will treat you like you're a queen because that's what you deserve and who will give you babies. If it ends up horribly and he's bad to you, just ring me and I'll beat him up. I won't let anybody, let alone a man, disrespect you or hit you." he says and I nod into his neck and I give him one last squeeze and I pull away.

"Merry Christmas." he says and I sniffle and nod. What a horrible day to have a break up.

"You too." I say and I turn around and leave. I'm leaving the man I love, but don't know if I should be with, what I've called my home for almost 2 years and this town I've called home. I love him, but I don't know if I could handle it all anymore.

* * *

The next five days are horrible and ridden with bad luck. I decided to stay in a hotel, with no clothes or belongings with me and each time I called to schedule a flight, it got snowed in. 3 times and now just this morning a fourth, why not so many flights? I don't know. I cried myself to sleep every night and I haven't been able to bring myself to call anybody, I'm so afraid to tell them. I feel like a failure to them, especially my dad because he already knew we were going to get engaged. I haven't talked to Paul and I've missed him like crazy. His strong arms, his cute giggle, his warm lips, his itchy mustache, his smile. Did I make the right decision?

_Paul's POV_

She left. She really, truly left and I was stupid enough to let her go. I tried incredibly hard to get her to stay, I fought and fought but she wouldn't relent, she's a strong willed woman and I couldn't change her mind. I have no idea where she is now, and frankly that scares me. She could already be back in the states, still be here in a London or I dunno where cos I know she's not at John's, Ritchie's or George's. I'm worried about her. I've had the worst withdrawal, not doing any drugs or drinking for the past five days of her absence. I cried and cried and cried until I couldn't and it was so terribly hard to go to my dads that afternoon. I didn't know what to tell him and actually I didn't have to because they all could see it from my tear streamed face with my red, puffy eyes. They were all supportive and told me it'd be okay, but I dunno how anything will be okay with not having her in my life. I was going to propose to her, ask her to marry me. In a matter of 3-4 days she would've been mine mine, really mine, she already could've been. I really don't know what to do, she was my everything and now she's suddenly gone and my life is broken and i'm lost with not knowing what to do with it. I thought that we'd possibly have a baby by next christmas. It would've been 3 years on March 2nd, 3 years we had been together and loved each other and now all of it is gone like that. I want her back, and the want is much more stronger than it's ever been when we've been apart or when she first left, by far much more stronger.


	9. Chapter 9

_Paul's POV_

I wake up the next morning, 6 days after she left, worried sick about her. I need to know she's okay and safe. I pick up the phone and dial Holly's number.

"Hello?" I hear her say.

"Hey Holls, it's Paul. Is Jackie erm there?" I ask her as I sit on the couch tapping my foot as my eyes wander over the living room that is so empty and lifeless without her in it.

"No, isn't she with you?" she says as my words take her completely off guard.

"Uh no, I thought maybe she'd be with you?" I say. Shit, where is she?

"Paul, why isn't she with you?" she asks in a worried tone.

"We broke up about a week ago." I admit as I tap my fingers on my lap and stare at them as I muster the words and they become more real as I say it aloud.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." she says sadly and I nod to myself.

"Ta. If you hear from her will you let me know?" I ask and she tells me yes and I say I will if I hear from her, but I highly doubt I will.

"She isn't staying with her parents?" I ask and she answers no and we hang up. '_If she isn't back home, she could either be on a plane right this moment or still in London'_, I think.

I'm not letting her go, i just can't, and whatever it takes to get her back I'll do it. I love her too much to lose her and even though it's already been a week, better late then never, eh? I find a phonebook in a cabinet drawer and start calling some of the popular hotels, but they say there's no record of a Jackie Anderson in their customer records. I continue to call hotels and go through the little speech. After not getting anything from 5-6 hotels, I was ready to give up until I notice the last one I hadn't tried and as little hope as I have that she's still in London I punch in the numbers. I hear the secretary say hello and their name and the hotel, whatever the name is.

"Hi, I was wondering if you have a customer by the name of Jackie Anderson staying there currently?" I say in hopes I won't get a no but instead a yes.

"I'm sorry sir, we can't give out that kind of information." she says and i'm stumped because I haven't gotten that response yet.

"She's erm one of my good friends and it's urgent." I say and it is because I need to know she's safe.

"Sir, I can't-." she says but I interrupt her.

"Please, it's very important that I know if she's there or not." I say and the urgency comes out in my voice.

"Um, yes a Jacquelyn Anderson is here and she checked in 6 days ago." she relents and I breathe a sigh of relief and I thank her and hang up. What if the last thing she wants is to see me and for me to beg for her back? _'I'm at least going to try',_ I think as I get up and head upstairs to take a shower, shave and get dressed in a hurry.

I get ready and drive to this hotel and wear some shades as I walk in in hopes nobody will recognize me. I quickly ask the male secretary at the front desk what room she is in and I head for the elevator. I tap my foot and take a few deep breaths as it goes a few flights up and I just now think of what to say, how can I win her back? If it's to stop doing drugs then I guess I will. I get off at the right floor and wander to her door and lightly knock and she opens it.

"Hi." I say softly as she looks sad and surprised at my visit.

"What're you doing here?" she asks.

"To get you back." I say.

"Paul-." she says but I cut her off and step into her small, bland room so nobody'll hear us.

"I'm sorry for everything, really I am. I'm sorry that I made it seem like drugs are more important to me than you are, because that's not true, I promise. I want you back Jackie, and I'll do whatever it takes." I admit and she sighs and crosses her arms as we face each other.

"I just thought I'd try at least, if you don't want to get back with me, fine then." I say but I don't mean it because I need her, I want her to come back.

"Paul McCartney the beatle who's so cool and who has this big ego and thinks he can get any girl. Why do I matter so much, Paul? You could have any girl in the world and hundreds that are much better looking than me." she says in a mock tone with the first part.

"Almost 3 years we were together, Jackie. Do I really need to explain to you why I want to be with you and not any other bird? Yes I could be with any bird I want, but I want you, not some busty bird with a great figure. You have the brains and the beauty. I want you." I plea and she looks down at her hands that she's fiddling with.

"What do I have to do to show you so you'll believe that I honestly can't live without you?! And because of that I want to spend the rest of my life with you." I say honestly as my heart is beating so hard I can feel it as I'm going on such a limb doing this, but I need her and I want to be with her so badly.

** AN: Whatcha thinking?**


	10. Chapter 10

_Paul's POV_

"Paul, I left okay? Just get over it." she says and I shake my head and sigh.

"I've tried, Jackie! So hard but I can't get you off my mind and any time I see a bird at a store or on the road, I can't help but think of you and how much I love you. Do you think I'd be here right now if I had gotten over it and found somebody else? You haven't found somebody else, have you?" I say and she shakes her head slowly while continuing to stare at the floor.

"If you really want me to leave, then tell me to, Jackie." I say boldly and she looks up to me with teary, sad eyes.

"I don't know what to do, Paul." she says softly.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Whether to be with you and if it's right to or not to be with you." she says simply and I nod to myself and I look down at my feet. How did it ever come to this? Why have we had such horrible fights that break us? Should I just leave her and stop trying to pressure her into coming back? I hope I'm not making it worse. Maybe I should just give up already and not make it worse for both of us.

"I'll be going then." I say and turn for the door but she grabs my arm and I turn around and she moves in and kisses me and my body is rigid and still. I didn't expect her to kiss me, because she broke up with me, but I kiss her back and ah have I missed feeling her lips against mine. She wraps her arms around my neck and I snake mine around her waist as we continue to passionately kiss as we're hungry for the other lips while we kiss fast and we back up to land on the bed. I get on top of her and she starts to unbutton my shirt. I immediately start to take off her clothes as I'm so attuned to do this with her, make love. We broke up, she broke up with me and now we're kissing and about to make love, how did this all of a sudden happen? I pull away from the kiss as much as I really hated to, to see her looking up at me with her bedroom eyes and I can't resist and smash my lips back against hers. I make sweet love to her and we fall asleep afterwards.

* * *

I wake up to her tracing patterns on my bare chest as my arms are wrapped around her with her laying on top of me after we had made love. I yawn and stretch and she giggles and I smile. She lays back down on top of me and I pull the blanket over us and wrap my arms around her a bit more snug. Is she mine again?

"Jackie, what does this mean?" I ask quietly as I run my fingers through her long hair as her cheek is against my chest and her eyes closed.

"I love you." she says and I smile to myself.

"I love you too, darling." I say and I kiss her head and I feel her smile against my chest.

"Are you my girl again?" I ask nervously and she lifts her head to rest it on my chest.

"Under some conditions." she says and I nod in understanding.

"You need to learn to cook so I'm not always doing it." she says and I grin.

"But I'll butcher it, J. All I can make is: pancakes, sausages and omelets!" I exclaim and she laughs.

"How about I um, teach you to make lasagna, spaghetti and mashed potatoes?" she asks and I nod since I especially love when she makes those things. She snuggles back into me and I tuck her head under my chin and I sigh and i lightly tickle the back of her neck with my fingers.

"Will you stop doing coke?" she asks me shyly.

"Yes." I say.

"Thanks, it means a lot." she says.

"Anything for you, baby. I'll try to cut down on drinking too, hangovers suck anyways." I say.

"I haven't done any or drunk at all this past week." I admit as hard as it was to not do that, because I knew one sip I took or one hit I took, I'd go overboard and just get deeper into it and numb myself with it and rely on it.

"I just don't want to lose you." I hear her say quietly.

"I know, love. And you won't." I say and she nods into my chest and I snuggle into her more and rub her bare back. I hear her sigh and we both close our eyes and relax there in each others arms as we're content, or I am at least. I hope she's happy.

"Jackie, are you happy?" I ask her randomly and she nods into my chest and I believe her.

"I'm sorry." I apologize again because I feel the need to and I want for her to forgive me.

"I forgive you." she says softly and I can tell what's hiding behind her words: I can only forgive you so many times and before long I won't be able to. I need to man up and stop being a dick to her and always treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

What I've always wanted to do ever since I realized I had feelings for her. If I keep hurting her, she won't forgive me and come back one time, where she'll get fed up and she can't come back. I thought this last time was it, because I was so hopeless, but I'm very happy that I tried, because if it weren't for that we wouldn't be back together now. I reach for the phone and dial Holly's number and I press it against my ear and keep my other hand on her lower back as her eyes are still closed.

"Hey Holls, it's Paul." I say and she asks if I had heard from her.

"Mmhmm, she's with me right now." I say quietly as I look down at her and lightly stroke her soft back. Holly sounds relieved, she thanks me and we both hang up. I close my eyes with her snuggled into my arms, finally.


	11. Chapter 11

"I broke my promise." I say as I lay there on top of Paul with his arms around me. I remember the last time I left and how I had promised him I'd never leave.

"You can't just up and leave when you feel like it, Jackie." I hear Paul say sadly and I nod knowing that. What if I'm not ready to be married to him and be that committed. I lift my head and rest my chin on his chest to look at him.

"I can't keep having you leave. I was going to propose and I don't think you're ready for that and I don't think I am anymore." he says and I nod as I understand what he's getting at.

"Maybe this is how long we were meant to be together, not any longer." he says and I'm surprised at his reluctancy to give up. I break his eye contact and lay my cheek back down on his chest.

"I thought you wanted me back." I say sadly.

"I don't think you want this or marriage, because you keep running away." he says and I swallow as my throat is dry, I'm going to cry.

"This is it?" I ask him as my voice threatens to break.

"Yeah, it is." he says and I nod and get off him and we both get dressed.

"Bye." he says and we hug as tears spill down my cheek.

"Bye." I say and he kisses the top of my head. He leaves and I get a flight out of there hours later and stay with Holly. All of my stuff from his house comes to the apartment and I move back in, as hard as it was. I didn't want to be back here, not really with Holly, I hate this town and I miss London.

* * *

After two weeks of it happening I still can't wrap my head around it. I left him, he found me and begged for me back, we made love and he decided he didn't want this or if that is even correct. It got easier I guess over the next year as I went to college and my mind was taken off of it. I still miss him, but it wasn't as overwhelming and life consuming as it was at first. I didn't date other guys, because I was always reminded of Paul and how what we had was special. I stopped being a fan of the Beatles, I put all my stuff in boxes and put it in the garage. Holly still is a fan now after a year of us breaking up.

Its January of 1968 and I found one of Holly's Beatles magazines on the counter and it was flipped open to a page with a picture of Paul and a brunette, apparently a girl he's seeing. We hadn't talked not even once over the past year and I feel so badly about what happened. I was in my room going through some old box when I found pictures of Paul and I, a whole envelope from Hawaii, my graduation, his first trip here and London, and I started to sob so hard and I couldn't stop until hours after. Holly found me crying in my room and took the pictures from my hand and hugged me as I continue to cry.

"Shh, it's okay." she says as her arms are wrapped around me and I cry into her shoulder.

"I screwed up, Holly. I screwed up so badly." I cry into her shoulder as I remember how it was all my fault. I left first, I was a controlling bitch about him doing drugs and I left the second time. He just couldn't forgive me another time.

"It's okay, it'll be okay. You'll find somebody else." she says and I shake my head.

"No I won't Holly, I love him and I messed it all up. It's all my fault." I complain as she rubs my back.

"It wasn't meant to be, Jackie." she says and I move away from her and cover my face with my hands as my elbows rest on my knees.

"He must hate me." I say while my face is slick with tears.

"No he doesn't." she says and i shake my head in disagreement.

"Yeah he does, I broke his heart and now he probably doesn't even give a damn about me because he has some new girlfriend." I rant.

"Im sure he still cares about you." she says as she lightly rubs my back and I sigh as I try to breathe from crying so damn hard.

"She was some girl he was spotted with." she says.

"Yeah, some girl he's sleeping with." I say whilst crying. How could I be so incredibly stupid and ungrateful? Ugh I hate myself so much for this.

"Maybe you two need to resolve things." she says.

"No, he won't walk to talk to me." I say and I hear her sigh. She squeezes my shoulder and leaves the room.

_Paul's POV_

I left her basically. I couldn't go on knowing she couldn't handle that commitment and I didn't want to waste my time. It took me months of being depressed and doubting my decision, but I resisted calling her and I guess I moved on. I went on dates, slept with some birds, but never had a serious relationship. I haven't heard from her and I hope she's doing well and is happy, and maybe with a man who she'll want to commit to, but the thought of her being with a man whose not me bugs me and I don't like the thought of it really. Of course I have been haunted by memories of her for months on end and I still am, by old pictures I have in drawers, the ring I stowed away in a dresser, memories of her laughing in the kitchen and so many other things I couldn't forget. It was hard at first to date again and to sleep with a bird who wasn't her, but I figured i need to throw myself out there after the tabloids found out we had broken up and I wanted sex basically. It was weird to be with another woman at first, to go out on a date and practically know nothing about them. Where with Jackie I could tell what mood she was in by the look on her face, understand what she meant when she made no sense and what she wanted when she was too shy to ask. I never forgot about her.

* * *

I'm downstairs reading the paper with a cup of tea and Martha at my feet when the phone rings.

"Ello?" I answer the phone and mentally note what line I'm at in the article.

"Hi Paul." a female voice says and one I haven't heard in a year, I'm surprised to hear it.

"Hey Holls, how're you?" I say and I hear some rustling on her line and her arguing with another female. Jackie?

"Why're you calling, love? Is everything alright?" I ask a bit concerned.

"I think you and Jackie need to talk." she says to my complete surprise and I hear a voice in the background say 'no, we don't'.

"What about?" I ask.

**AN: Thoughts? **


	12. Chapter 12

"What the hell are you doing?!" I ask Holly as I find her in the kitchen on the phone with Paul.

"Helping you." she whispers to me and I huff.

"You'll make it worse, Holly." I protest and she tells him that we need to talk and I protest with saying 'no, we don't'. I can't believe she's doing this, but I'd never have the bravery to.

"I don't know, I think she wants you back." she says and I can't believe her.

I storm out of the kitchen as I grab my coat and shoes and leave the apartment and drive off in my car. My grandparents had a really nice cabin on a lake before they decided to give it to my parents and that's where I'm going, because my parents hardly ever use it and it's ridiculously nice and secluded.

_Paul's POV_

Holly says she doesn't know whether everything is alright and she tells me she thinks Jackie wants me back. Can't Jackie just make up her mind? I hear more rustling on the other side and a huff.

"Can I erm talk to her?" I ask as i go out on a whim.

"Uh no, she just left." she says seeming to be confused.

"Holly, is she okay?" I ask a bit worried. I have and always will want the best for her and for her to be happy. I still care about her, but I just decided we shouldn't be together anymore.

"She's been good for awhile and today I found her not doing so well. She thinks you hate her." she says and I sigh and place my chin in my palm.

"Now why would she think that?" I ask.

"Because she thinks she screwed everything up and that you two breaking up was entirely her fault." she says and I scratch my unshaven cheek.

"Where is she?" I ask and she says she's not sure and I tell her to have her call me and I hang up and hang out with Martha and Lil for the next hour as I mindlessly read the paper and think about Jackie.

It wasn't her fault entirely, but she was the one who was having the commitment issues. She wants me back apparently, but I don't know if I want to go through all that hurt again with her and first of all I need to hear from her and what she has to say. From what Holly tells me and how I know Jackie and her stubbornness, I know she'll deny a lot and won't say much. She's like me in this one way: we both have learned to put a shell around us from getting hurt and sometimes it's hard and incredibly scary to let your guard down for somebody, especially if they've hurt you before. But I can't deny my occasional thoughts over the year of how I miss her and where we'd be now if we were still together, if I hadn't given up basically. We could've posibbly been married already and maybe had a baby. Why now? Why does she want me back now, after I've gotten over her and moved on? I didn't fully move on, because I still think about her and miss her sometimes but I've never known what to do about it and I never thought to try and get her back. Maybe it was because I was fed up with getting her back and her leaving again, I couldn't go through it again. But what if I made the wrong decision? I get up and go to the studio for the day to clear my mind of things and maybe figure out what I should do. I never stopped caring about her, I definitely don't hate her and I don't think I ever stopped loving her.

* * *

I don't hear from Holly for a couple of days and she finally calls me a few days later.

"Well have you heard from her?" I ask her as I have the telly on low.

"Yeah, she's up at her parents cabin." she says and I nod to myself as I faintly remember her telling me about that place.

"Is there a phone there? So I can call her." I say slowly and she tells me yes and gives me the number and we hang up.

I slowly dial in the number to the cabin. What am I going to say? Ask her '_What's this I hear about you wanting me back?_', I think but no I don't want to sound like I'm mad at her because I'm not anymore.

"Hello?" I hear her soft voice say. I've missed that voice.

"Hi, it's Paul." I say uneasily as I tap a pencil against my thigh.

"Why're you calling?" she asks boldly and all of a sudden her guard went up, I can easily tell by the change in her tone of voice.

"Holly said you've been-." I start but she cuts in.

"Yeah, I know what she said, just forget what she said. I can't believe she called you." she says and let's out a frustrated sigh at the end.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine." she says letting her stubbornness come out.

"Jackie, you can tell me you know." I say.

"I'm fine, really I am." she says and she's not fooling me.

"I don't hate you, love and I dunno why you'd think I do because I don't and I never will. It was both of ours faults, us breaking up, not just you but me too." I say strongly in hopes it'll make her feel better.

"And I care about you, Jackie and I want you to be happy and to have a fantastic life!" I say honestly. That's what I've always wanted for her, I don't know why she'd think otherwise. She stays silent on the other line and I sigh.

"I know." she says sadly with a sigh and I shake my head, she's lying.

"Then why do you think that I hate you and that our breakup was all of your fault?!" I ask.

"Why do you even care?" she asks and I rub my forehead.

"Because I don't want you to think that I hate you or for you to blame yourself about us breaking up, because it's not true! I don't want you to deceive yourself, by thinking those things!" I exclaim.

"Why're you torturing yourself like this, Jackie?" I ask almost desperately.

"Because I screwed up so badly with you and I was such a bitch to you and I feel sorry for all of it and I wish we had never broken up, okay?" she states and finally she explains herself and says more then a sentence to me.

"I feel bad too, okay? We both screwed up, Jackie! But there's nothing we can do about it, because we're not together, it's all in the past." I say. Why can't she just be happy and not let this plague her?

"Okay, bye." she says quietly and I sigh and run my fingers through my hair.

"What? No, don't hang up just yet!" I say.

"Why shouldn't I?" she asks and I don't have an answer. Maybe I just want to hear more of her voice and I'm not convinced she's alright.

"How've you been this past year?" I ask randomly because I want to keep her on the line.

"Why does it matter?" she asks sternly.

"Because I want to know that you're happy and okay." I state.

"Well I'm not." she reveals.

"Why not?" I ask curiously.

"Just cause." she says being stubborn.

"Because I miss you, okay?" she says with a sigh and I nod to myself. Now we're getting somewhere.

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss you." I admit and she says nothing in return.

"Found anybody?" I ask curiously and one side of me wants her to say yes and the other really wishes that she'll say no.

"No, have you?" she asks.

"No, just random dates." I say and she doesn't say anything. I know how easily jealous she can get.

"How have you been?" she asks.

"Fine, I guess." I say and she doesn't say anything in response.

"Holly said you want me back." I say uneasily as I rest my chin in my palm.

"Why would you care if I did happen to say that? It's not like you'll want me back." she says sadly and self consciously.

"You don't know that." I admit in a soft tone.

"What does that mean?" she asks and I try to think about it myself. What do I want? Is it her that I want? I haven't been close to finding a bird who I've went on a date with or slept with, that I had a connection with like I did with Jackie. Not somebody who I could talk so easily to or laugh so hard with or somebody who could put such a big smile on my face. I know what we had was special but is it right to go back at it again? Has she changed?


	13. Chapter 13

He stays silent after I asked him what he meant.

"I dunno." he says and I sigh and lean into the comfortable couch and pull the blanket up to my shoulders.

"I should just go, I don't see the point in this." I say quietly because I don't see him wanting to get back together, so why try?

"How come?" he asks and I sigh and pick at the brown blanket.

"Because you don't want me back." I confess sadly.

"I never said that." he says but that doesn't help any.

"You didn't have to." I say and he stays silent. Why did he even call in the first place? Yes I want him back, but it won't happen because I was so horrible to him when he was great to me.

"What do you want, huh? Do you want to get back together and try this again?" he asks. Isn't it obvious that I do?

"Yes, do you?" I admit.

"I dunno, J. You really hurt me and I-I've moved on." he confesses and I sigh and rub my eyes. That isn't what I wanted to hear, but I didn't expect a yes.

"Okay, I'll let you go then." I say.

"K, bye then." he says quietly and I respond with bye and we both hang up. I snuggle into the couch and cover my eyes with my arms and cry.

How could I have been so stupid to throw that away with him? Thousands of girls would want to have been in the place I was in and I blew it, and there's nothing I can do about it. I cry until I fall asleep there on the comfortable couch with the big brown blanket draped over me in the small living room of the cozy cabin.

_Paul's POV_

I told her that I've moved on and she said okay and she sounded real sad and that all the hope she had had been thrown away when I told her that. Yeah I've moved on, but that doesn't mean I don't wonder about us getting back together. I honestly don't know what I want right now, but I don't want to lead her on saying there's a chance. But I may have just killed all of her hopes about us ever getting back together and I probably shouldn't of done that.

Over the next almost week I think about what to do and what I want, should I leave it as a friendship or get back together with her? I went on a few dates over the next week and all of them felt uncomfortable and almost wrong and the ones where I intended to sleep with the bird, I couldn't bring myself to do that. I kept thinking about Jackie and just a few of the hundreds and hundreds of memories I have her and I realize that I really miss her. It took a lot of thinking and time, but I make a decision. I realize what I walked away from and what I've been missing out on, I wasn't sure if it's the right decision but I went with my gut and I'm comfortable with it. Now I just have to see what she says because I probably made her think that I'm not interested, I didn't lie to her but I did change my mind and now I've made it up. I want her and I can't believe I was so incredibly dumb and blind sided to how i let her go and didn't get her back and now I'm going to do that and whatever it takes to get her back. I won't give up without a fight and I can't believe I did last time, after I had won.

After making my decision while at the studio, I come home and heard the phone ringing right when I walked in the door and I bounded for it and caught it before the person hung up.

"Ello?" I say slightly out of breath. It's my dad and we talk about how I'm coming over to his house this weekend just for dinner and to catch up and hang out with Ruth and I tell him about what's going on with Jackie and how I called her the other day.

"What'd you tell her when she said she wanted to get back together?" he asks as I'm seated on the couch with Martha at my feet, the girls really missed Jackie at first and whined a lot because they missed her, it got annoying quick.

"I told her that I couldn't take her back because she really hurt by leaving those two times, and she promised me that she wouldn't leave again." I explain.

"Well she shouldn't have promise you anything, son. Maybe thats what she was doing when she left the first time, she couldn't handle keeping that promise." he says and I nod to myself as I understand his words.

"Good point, but now I want her back and I'm afraid of what she'll say." I confess.

"Why're you afraid if she wanted to get back together?" he asks and I sigh and run my hand through my hair.

"Because I think I killed her hopes of us ever dating again and now a week later i changed my mind, so what if she moved on?" I ask worriedly.

"You don't know anything until you ask her, son." he says and I again nod to myself and he tells me good luck and I hang up.

I find the number to her parents cabin in the mess of papers, books, music sheets, paper cups, cigarettes and matches on the coffee table. The house was so much cleaner and pleasant when she was here. I dial the number and hope she's still there and my heart drops when I hear who answers the phone.

"Uh hello?" I hear a male voice say and I sigh and lean back into the couch. She's already moved on hasn't she? But I need to try like my dad said.

"Is Jackie there?" I ask nervously.

"Uh yeah, hold on a sec." he says and I take a deep breath. I should just get out with it and tell her.

"Hello?" I hear her sweet voice say as she's laughing. Another man is making her happy, not me, some other guy. Just like the song we use to play at the cavern when the Beatles had just started to get big and Brian found us. Maybe I should just hang up and let her be happy rather than me interrupting.


	14. Chapter 14

_Paul's POV_

"Hey Jackie, it's Paul." I say uneasily.

"Oh hey, how are you?" she asks in a chipper voice.

"I'm fine, are you any better?" I ask.

"Yeah a lot, I've been hanging out with my friend Alex lately." she says and I nod to myself.

"Are you two dating?" I ask curiously.

"Oh no, we used to be really good friends in high school and we haven't seen each other since graduation." she says and I feel a weight being lifted off of my shoulders. Thank goodness they aren't dating.

"Oh well that's great!" I say and she agrees with me.

"I erm, i'm calling because I changed my mind, Jackie." I confess.

"Y-you did?" she stutters.

"Yeah, I realized what i walked away from, I never stopped loving you, Jackie. I could barely go on a date this past week without walking out on the bird because it didn't feel right being with another woman who wasn't you." I confess and I jump in again.

"I just hope you didn't change yer mind and move on." I say and it all feels good to get off my chest, but it'll feel even better if she accepts.

"I-I, Paul-." she stutters but I cut in.

"Please take me back, Jackie?" I plea.

"Paul, you left." she states in not her chipper tone anymore.

"I know I did, but-." I start.

"I told you again and again how sorry I was and you come back and then you just left me!" she says.

"We've done this how many times now? Putting the blame on the other, I'm sorry, okay? I realize what big of a mistake I made, but I can't redo it, Jackie! It is what it is." I say.

"Oh stop it with your 'it's meant to be' shit, Paul. That's just your usual excuse for everything." she says angrily and I sigh and rest my face in my hands as my elbows rest on my legs.

"What do you want me to say, Jackie?" I say a bit angry but in a marginal tone.

"How are we gonna do this then?" she asks calmly.

"Will you come back?" I ask desperately.

"Yeah, I suppose." she says and a smile creeps onto my face but soon fades.

"Jackie, I need to really hear that you want to." I say.

"I'm sorry, but yes I want to because ah I've missed you so badly and I feel so bad about how it all turned out." she says to my relief as the smile returns in full glory.

"I know you are, love but it's all alright and I feel bad too. So when do ya reckon you could come out here?" I ask.

"Uh I don't know, I'd have to wait until the middle of the month when the semester ends." she says. She's going to college?

"Yer going to college, darling?" I ask with a proud smile on my face.

"Yeah, to be a nurse." she says and I continue to grin.

"Good, I bet you'll make a fantastic one." I say honestly and I hear her sweet giggle.

"I hope so, will you let me practice on you?" she asks and I chuckle.

"What kind of practice? Any sexual experiments?" I ask cheekily and I hear her laugh.

"No, but those could always be personal experiments." she says and I giggle. I actually feel bad that I've slept with several birds over the past year, that I didn't hold out, but I really had no idea we'd be getting back together a year later or ever. I assume she knows that I didn't stay abstinent but there's nothing I can do about it now and none of the birds were any good anyways, just a shag really, they weren't anything compared to my Jackie.

"I can't wait to see you." I confess.

"Same here." she says and I smile to myself at the thought of waking up to her in bed as we're naked from having just made love. Man I love her.

"I'll erm, should I call the movers again?" I ask with a soft laugh. Third time i've had to call them about her stuff.

"Uh yeah, it'd be appreciated." she says and I make a mental note to call them.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I have a feeling that you'll like the upcoming parts and this one, actually no I know you will. Enjoy! **

_Paul's POV_

We talk on the phone occasionally over the next two weeks as she's still in school and I'm itching for her to get here and today is finally the day she's flying out and just about all of her stuff is already here in boxes.

I leave the house for the airport, clean shaven and simply in dress pants and a white button up and o' course a coat. Like always a few people spot me and I stop to sign a few autographs then make my way as I shuffle my feet to get to her gate as my heart is beating fast from the anticipation of seeing her. It's been a year and I have never missed her this much even before we lived together, but now I intend for neither of us to leave and for this to turn into forever some day soon down the road.

I watch as a blonde enters and I immediately recognize it to be her as her suitcase is giving her troubles and I chuckle at the sight of her kicking it and she huffs and decides to carry it. I find my feet and walk over to her and get to her from behind and wrap my arms around her and her body becomes rigid and I chuckle and she turns around with a big smile on her face.

"Hi darling, long time no see." I say with a large grin and she says nothing but instead runs into my arms and I envelope her in my arms and ah does it feel good to finally hold her after so long. We stand there for maybe 5 minutes just hugging before either of us says a word.

"How was your flight?" I ask her as I move away but keep an arm around her as we're close to being nose to nose and we both have grins on our faces.

"Fine." she says with a sigh and I nod and move in and touch my lips to hers to in quick kiss, but it's just a tease to me because I want to smother her in kisses right now, but I'll have to wait until we get home.

I grab her suitcase from her and enlace my hand with her warm, delicate fingers and we walk out to the car and get in. I drive to the house with her hand firmly in mine all while as we both are in a comfortable silence. I pull into the driveway and we walk into the house hand in hand and Martha charges for J right when we walk in and she almost knocks her over from her large size.

"Hi Martha, Mmm I missed you." Jackie says as she kneels and buries her face into the fluffy dogs neck as Martha enjoys her presence and Jackie petting her. I set her suitcase by the stairs and walk into the kitchen to refill Martha's food dish and Jackie joins me and surprise hugs me and I look down at her as our arms are wrapped around the other and we gaze at each other.

"I see you shaved the rat off." she remarks and I grin and nod and move in and press my lips against hers in an extremely passionate kiss and she immediately kisses me back.

She locks her fingers in my hair as my arms are wrapped around her small waist as we deeply kiss the other and are hungry for the others lips, we both have seemed to have forgotten how wonderful it feels to kiss the other and I didn't want to pull away and she didn't make means to. I pull away and pick her up bridal style and she laughs and I walk up the stairs and set her on the bed and get on top of her and she doesn't refuse, she's ready too it seems.

* * *

We had gotten home from the airport around 2 and when I had awoken in bed after falling asleep i look to the clock to see it's around 5. It doesn't surprise me that so much time had gone by, since we had made love about 4 times one after the other and it was just in the simplest of words wonderful and amazing and you couldn't nearly compare it to those one night stands with those random birds months ago.

I rub my eyes and look down to Jackie whose snuggled up to me with her head on my chest while my arm is wrapped around her waist. I smile at the sight of waking up to her as we're both tangled up in the bed sheets while the grey comforter is strewn over us up to our midsections. I lightly kiss the crown of her head and yawn. I assume she'll be out for a little longer because of her lengthy flight and bloody jet lag. I stretch and yawn and decide to leave the bed to attempt to make dinner and I cover her body fully with the blanket and grab pajama pants and a t shirt and head downstairs to see what little my fridge holds.

I humph and look in the cupboard, I really have had a poor diet ever since she's been gone and my mouth waters at the thought of her making lasagna and spaghetti again. I find a can of baked beans and I heat it on the stove and pop two slices of bread into the toaster. I'm spooning the baked beans onto the buttered toast when I hear her coming down the stairs and I smile to myself. This is how it should be.

"Good evening, my sleeping beauty." I say resurrecting her old nickname and she nods sleepily as she walks towards me in my button down from earlier and I pull her into a hug.

Ah how I've missed seeing her wear my shirts and I kiss the top of her head as her head is buried into my neck and I lightly rub her back. She looks different from how she looked a year ago, her blonde hair is a tad shorter and her body is as beautiful as ever and maybe it's because i haven't seen her in so long but she appears even more pretty to me right now.

"Hungry? I made beans on toast." I say softly as I run my hand over her soft, sweet smelling hair and I feel her nod into my chest and I kiss her head again and pull away from the hug and we sit down at the kitchen table and eat our supper.

We afterwards lay on the couch together watching some horror movie, which she seemed to be engrossed in and she hid in my chest a few times and I rubbed her back each time. I guess I fancy scary movies and I know she always has and tonight it stormed surprisingly during the winter and the rain pitter pattering against the house and the thunder made it scarier. Even Martha was a bit freaked and she whines as she walks up to us while my arm is draped over Jackie's shoulder and her head rests on my shoulder.

"Is the movie scaring you too, girl? Come here hun." Jackie says sweetly and pats the couch next to her and Martha jumps at the opportunity, literally, and snuggles into her lap as the movie is getting near it's end.

I bring my eyes to Jackie as her gaze is set on the tv set and I watch as the light from the candles on the coffee table play on her beautiful face and illuminate her soft features and her dashing blue eyes. I run my fingers across her soft cheek and she turns her gaze to me with a smile and I smile back as her chin rests on my shoulder and we stare at each other lovingly as we look over each others faces and how they've changed.

"I missed you." she says softly as the sound from the telly drowns into the background.

"I missed you too, love." I say and she smiles and I kiss her pale forehead.


	16. Chapter 16

_Paul's POV_

We smile at each other and look back to the tv right when the picture goes out and I furrow my eye brows and sigh. I pick up the phone and hear nothing, the power must've went out.

"The powers out, love. I'm gonna go look at the box." I say as I get up.

"Well wait for me, I'm not staying here all alone." she says and I grin.

"Alright then, c'mon". I say as I take her hand we go into the kitchen and I search for a flashlight in the drawers and finally find one and we go down to the basement. I wander over to where the flashlights beam is illuminating the box and while both of Jackie's hands are wrapped around my arm as she stays close and I flick the power switch, but nothing happens.

"Hmm, I guess we'll just have to go without power for a little while, love." I say and she nods and we go back upstairs and we find some more candles and light them as their placed on the coffee table, and on the counter in the kitchen. I go over to the fireplace while Jackie stays on the couch snuggled in a blanket and I throw a few logs in and light it to create a warm fire that we'll really need now.

"Do you want to sleep down here tonight, love? We could lay down blankets." I say and she nods quickly and we go to one of the guest bedrooms and take the mattress off the bed, gather some comforters and pillows and rearrange them on the living room floor in front of the fireplace and we lay down together.

"So are you still the same Paul?" she asks me and I furrow my brow and laugh as we're cuddled together as she lays on my chest and traces patterns on my bare chest. She makes me so incredibly happy and man do I love her.

"Well apparently you were replaced by a look alike." she says as my hands rest on the small of her back underneath my dress shirt.

"Yeah I've heard about that, it's bloody ridiculous." I say and she looks up at me and rests her chin on my barren chest.

"How do I know you're not the same Paul I met 4 years ago?" she asks.

"Am I still pretty damn amazing in bed?" I ask with a grin and she giggles and nods as her cheeks are flushed. She lays back down on top of me and I pull the brown comforter more over her and I lightly rub her back as her long fingers trail up and down my long arm. The fire is doing it's job as I feel the heat while I watch Jackie's pale fingers run up and down my lean arm and my fingertips lightly brush against the tender skin of her lower back. I fall asleep quickly with her in my arms.

* * *

I wake up probably hours later to the fire close to being out and alone on the makeshift bed and I get up and throw another log on quick and look around for Jackie. She's not in the kitchen, or outside with Martha and I find her up in the bedroom sitting on the bed.

"Hey love." I say as I sit by her after placing a lit candle on the bedside table. She cuddles into me and I rub her back.

"What're you doing up here?" I ask a bit concerned.

"I don't know." she mutters quietly and I kiss the top of her head and I lead her back downstairs and I lay back onto the mattress after putting one more log on the fire. I push some hair out her eyes as she stares into space with an empty face.

"What's the matter?" I ask and she locks eyes with me and shakes her head and wraps her arms around me and I melt into her and pull the multitude of blankets back over us and we both fall asleep. I wonder why she was acting so odd.

* * *

I wake up the next morning and notice the power had come back on and the kitchen light's on and so I wander in to see Jackie writing things down on a list, still in my button down.

"What're you writing, sweetheart?" I ask her as I wrap my arms around her from behind and rest my chin on her shoulder as i watch the pen move across the pad of paper while her beautiful cursive comes from the pen.

"Grocery list." she says softly but in a happy tone. I nod and kiss down her soft neck and along her shoulder as I move the shirt out of the way. I sigh and rest my chin back on her shoulder.

"Do you want to come with when I go to the studio in an hour or go to Cyn's or Mo's?" I ask and secretly hope she wants to come with me, because I just don't want to be away from her. She only just got back yesterday afternoon. I don't want to leave my baby, even though the lads might not really like the idea, even though they all miss her and they'd be surprised to know we had gotten back together since I hadn't yet told them.

"I don't know, what do you think I should do?" she asks giving me the opportunity.

"I want you to come along with me." I say and lightly kiss her neck and she nods with a smile. We leave the mattress and blankets and we both get ready and take showers.

"Well don't you look nice." I say as she steps out of the bathroom in a thin towel. She snickers and heads over to her suitcase and kneels down to get out some clothes. She gets up and I pull her on top of me as I'm laying on the bed fully dressed and ready and she laughs and her towel falls. She leans down and presses her lips against mine and I link my arms around her barren waist and she straddles me as we continue to kiss slowly and sweetly.


	17. Chapter 17

I pull away from the kiss as i'm straddling Paul on the bed while his arms are wrapped around me. He frowns and I laugh and smother his face in kisses and we both laugh all while. Gosh I've missed him more then I thought and it was the best day when he called saying he had changed his mind. The phone rings and I stop kissing him and get off of him and he slaps my bare butt and I laugh and walk over to my suitcase for clothes.

"Oh really? Alright, well that's fine with me. Okay, see ya tomorrow." he says as I find an outfit and he hangs up and he grabs the button down I wore last night and tosses it to me.

"You can put this back on, darling. Theres no session today because it's snowing pretty hard." he says and I nod and put it back on while he strips and changes into his pajamas. He stretches as I giggle and we head back downstairs and I plop down onto our little bed in front of the fireplace and I pull the comforter over me. I close my eyes and I feel Paul slipping into the bed with me and he plants a big kiss on my forehead and I smile and he pulls me into his warm body.

"I'm hungry." I whine into his neck as his arms are around me.

"Omelets?" he asks and I nod. He kisses my cheek and leaves the bed to go to the kitchen and shortly comes back with two plates and I sit up and we eat our delicious omelets. He finishes first and watches me as I work on my last few bites and I blush.

"What?" I ask him as I look up to see him with a grin on his face as his eyes are set on me.

"Nothing, I just forgot how beautiful you are." he says and I blush and smile as I finish my last bite and set the plate on the floor. Paul moves quickly and pulls me on top of him and I squeal as he pulls the blankets over us and has a firm grasp on my waist and I bury my face into his smooth neck.

"Mmm." I hear him mumble and I giggle and lightly kiss his neck.

"I'm so glad to have my baby back." I hear him say and I think of how he left but I forgave him and I brush those thoughts away.

"I'm glad to be back." I say truthfully and I move and rest my cheek on his t shirted chest and I feel his fingers run through my hair.

"What do you want to do today?" he asks me as my eyes are closed.

"Cuddle." I say as I move to get comfortable on top of him.

"Will you make spaghetti for dinner?" he asks.

"We have to get groceries first." I say.

"I'll call the housekeeper for em." he says. Since when does he have a housekeeper?

"You have a housekeeper?" I ask.

"Mmhmm, I couldn't do all the laundry and housework by myself after you left so I just hired a housekeeper. Do you think we'll need one anymore?" he asks me and I shake my head into his chest.

"No, I won't mind doing the laundry and cleaning again, but you'll have to help." I say as his fingers are still in my hair.

"I will." he says with a small yawn.

"Do you erm, want yer name back on the two houses?" he asks me slowly and I think for a minute. This early?

"Yeah, if you think it's alright to do that this early." I mumble sleepily into his comfortable chest.

"Well I don't plan on this ending, do you?" he asks. Of course I don't.

"No, not at all." I answer.

"Good. I'll get to calling the realtor this week then." he says and I nod with a sigh as I let my body relax into his. We both lay there in front of the fire and soon enough I hear thunder again and I just about jump.

"Hey it's okay." Paul says sweetly and I cuddle into him more.

"Damn." I hear him mutter.

"Mm?" I mumble.

"The power went out again." he says and I open my eyes to see the living room lights had gone off and the only light's coming from the back door and the fire.

"Mmm." I moan and cuddle into him.

"Wanna just have a lie around today, love? We can just cuddle, make love, chat, maybe play guitar." he says and I smile into his chest and nod excitedly.

"Which first?" I ask as I look up at him.

"Which do you want to do first?" he asks with a small grin.

"Make love." I answer and he nods and makes quick time of flipping me over and slowly pressing his lips against mine as he straddles me. I kiss him back and we end up making sweet love right there in the middle of the living room right in front of the fireplace, it was incredible.

* * *

I wake up to Paul running his fingers up and down my thigh as he cuddles me from behind and I smile while my eyes are still closed. I missed waking up like this.

"I love you, Jackie." I hear him murmur against my neck as his warm breath sends shivers down my spine as the comforter covers our bodies up to our butts.

"I love you too, Paul." I whisper back as I take his hand into mine and enlace my fingers into his as my hand rests on top of his.

"I never stopped loving you." I hear him say and he lightly kisses my neck.

"Neither did I." I confess as his thumb lightly rubs my smooth leg. I hear him exhale before he rests his chin on my shoulder and his cheek rests against mine as his naked body is pressed against mine from behind. I turn around as I let go of his hand and press my body against his and he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

"How long have we been together technically?" I wonder aloud to Paul.

"I guess you could say 35 months." he says slowly as he seems to think and I nod since that sounds right.

"We're all going to India next month for some trip to do mediation and just to get away, do you wanna come with?" he asks me.

"Sure." I say since this was random and I wouldn't know what to expect.

"When and for how long?" I ask curiously.

"Oh I dunno, towards the end of the month and probably for a month." he answers and I nod into his chest.


	18. Chapter 18

"Is it still snowing hard?" I ask curiously and I hear him huff and he kisses my head and gets up and walks naked over to the back door.

"Nice ass." I say as I peer at his big, perky butt thats exposed as he stands naked while he looks out the door.

"Ta and yeah kind of, why?" he says as he walks back to the bed and cuddles his naked body against mine. He still can make me blush a bit from seeing his impressive naked body.

"I don't know, I was thinking we could go play out in the snow." I say and I hear him chuckle as I feel his warm, large hand cup my butt.

"But it's so cold outside and i don't even know where the snow pants are." he says and I nod into his chest.

"You're just a baby." I say as I stretch and look up at him as we both have smirks on our faces.

"I just don't like being cold, especially when I'm already comfortable and warm as I'm snuggled up to my love." he says and he kisses my cheek sweetly.

"Mmm what time is it?" I ask with a yawn.

"Oh about 1." he says.

"Already?" I ask surprised and he nods and stretches his arm so his head is laying on it, it looks like a 45 degree angle how it's stretched. I do the same as we face each other while laying on our sides and his hand still rests on my butt and we stare at each other lovingly with little smirks. His warm hand leaves my butt and travels to my face as he rubs the flesh of his fingers against my cheek as my eyes are lost in his.

"Baby?" he mutters.

"Hmm?" I say in return.

"I wuv you." he says and I smile at his baby talk.

"I wuv you too." I say and lightly poke his nose. I feel his warm foot rub against my leg and our legs get tangled together as he leans in touches his warm lips to mine in a tender smooch.

"So college, huh?" he says after he pulls away with a proud smile and I nod.

"Mmhmm, I'm not sure how I feel about it anymore though." I say and my smile fades and so does his as he looks worried and he rubs his thumb along my cheek.

"How come, love?" he asks a bit concerned.

"I just don't think I'm up for it anymore." I say with a sigh and look away from him and he puts his finger under my chin to look back up at me.

"Care to explain, darling?" he asks softly and in a caring tone.

"It was just so much the first semester. It took up so much of my time with the homework, and the papers I had to write. And what if we have a baby one day?" I answer and I nervously say the last line but it doesn't seem to surprise him.

"If that's what you want, darling because I just want you to be happy and as for a baby, we could wait until you're done with college." he says and I bite my lip.

"But who would take care of the baby if we're both at work during the day?" I say.

"Good point, I dunno." he says and we both giggle.

"Maybe I'll change my mind one day, but I don't want to go back right now." I say and he nods and kisses the top the tip of my nose.

"That's fine with me." he says supportively and I nod and his hand rests on my side while I trace the outline of his pouty lips with my fingers. I couldn't feel as grateful as I do right now that I'm here right now with him, laying on a mattress in the middle of his living room as we're both naked with blankets strewn over our bodies, to be back together and that we both forgave each other.

We lay there the rest of the day while we're wrapped in each others arms as we talk about things and we marvel at the others body and how much we missed the other over the past year. We make spaghetti for dinner and I could easily tell that Paul loved it since he had two servings and he dished it down quick, he must've missed having somebody cook for him. The next week goes by as we got back into the swing of living together and being a couple again.

* * *

We're making dinner together, just steak and mashed potatoes, when we're chatting lightly and Paul tells me something.

"If I tell you something will you promise you won't tell anybody? Who am I kidding, I know you won't." he says as I'm adding butter, milk and all to the already boiled potatoes and I nod and smile at him.

"John's cheating on Cyn." he says as he's at the stove cooking the steak and my jaw drops.

"He is?! With who?" I ask as I'm caught off guard by this new information.

"Some Jap named Yoko. I've only met her once, but don't tell anybody 'specially Cyn okay?" he answers and I nod.

"How come Cyn doesn't know?" I say as I lightly mash the potatoes with the mixer.

"Cos John's doing a good job at keeping it a secret, the two met about two years ago at some art show of hers. She's from New York and she's some avant garde artist apparently." he says as he adds some seasoning to the large piece of meat.

"Poor Cyn." I say sadly.

"I know, and I don't think she has any idea that she's being cheated on but I'm not gonna let her in on it because it's not my business and I don't want her to find out from me, you know?" he answers and I nod in agreement.

**AN: You're gonna like the next few chapters, I just know it, wink wink.**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: Feel free to let me know what you think of this part! I hope you like it!**

"I think the trip to India next month will do John some good though." Paul says as I mash the potatoes and he flips the steak.

"That's good then, Cyn's going right?" I say.

"Mmhmm, I think he wants to bring Yoko along though. It'll do him some good being away from those nasty drugs he's on." he says and shakes his head and I nod slowly. We finish making dinner and eat it together as we chat lightly and we leave the dishes for later and head upstairs to get in bed.

"I'll never do that to you, you know." Paul says as he comes up from behind and wraps his arms around me while I'm in front of the dresser putting on my pj's.

"Thanks." I say as I slip on a pair of his pajama pants. He turns me around so I'll look at him.

"Really, I wouldn't." he says seriously and I nod and peck him quick.

"I love you." he says after I pull away and I wrap my arms around him to hug him.

"I love you too." I say and I feel him kiss the top of my head.

* * *

Over the next few weeks we did our normal and I hung out with Cyn and Mo a lot while Paul was at the studio. India surely was something different but Paul and I enjoyed it for the most part and it was great to see the beautiful landscape there. Seeing Cyn bugged me though because of the secret I knew and it took a lot for me to not expose it to her.

"Happy to be home?" Paul asks me as I fall back onto our bed and I nod and he smiles and lays beside me.

"Change and meet me out in the dome in erm 15, okay?" he says and I scrunch my brows but nod and I get up and grab a change of clothes and head into the bathroom. While changing I hear dresser drawers being opened and closed and I humph and change into a pair of jeans and a nice sweater.

I fix my hair and leave the bathroom to find Paul nowhere in the house and I grab my jacket and shoes and head out to the dome in the backyard after waiting fifteen minutes.

"Paul?" I call out as I'm walking outside and I get no answer and continue to walk in the dark and i go inside the dome to find dozens of candles lit and scattered all over the floor. I see that a blanket with two pillows is laid on the floor in the middle with two glasses and a bottle of wine.

"You clean up nice!" I hear Paul say as he steps out of the shadow and i follow him to the blanket.

"Why all the fancy stuff, McCartney?" I ask a bit suspicious as I cross my legs and Paul giggles and pours us each a glass a wine.

"You'll see." he says with a wink and I nod slowly.

"Let's make a toast. To us, the woman I love and our relationship. We've definitely went through a lot, but we love each other and that's how we've gotten through it all and how we'll get through our struggles in the future." he says sweetly and I nod with a smile and our glasses meet and we take a drink. We had just gotten home from India, it's about 8 at night and we had eaten dinner at the airport. I set my glass down to look around at the dazzling candles as Paul stares at me with a grin on his face.

"What?" I say as I turn to him and take a sip of my wine.

"Ah nothing, I just love you." he says softly with a warm smile as he sits across from me.

"I love you too, honey." I respond and he nods with a smile and takes a sip out of his glass.

"So what brings us to the dome tonight?" I wonder aloud to Paul.

"Why so many questions, love?" he answers.

"Just curious." I answer and he nods not saying anything.

We set our glasses aside and he pulls me over to him and I sit between his legs as my head rests against his shoulder, my hands rest on his long legs and my head is tucked under his chin. My eyes are closed as I feel Paul's lips against my hair and his right hand enlace with my right hand and his thumb strokes my hand. I feel his warm lips against my cheek as he kisses my cheek a few times and I smile as he continues to plant sweet kisses along my cheek as his left arm is wrapped around my waist.

"You mean the world to me, Jackie." I hear him whisper against my cheek and he kisses my cheek one last time.

"So do you, Paul." I respond.

"Honestly, you're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm so glad I met you, J." he says sweetly and I smile at his words.

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you." he says and I again smile at what he's saying.

"Same here." I say as I turn to look at him and his cheeks are flushed and softly kisses my cheek again.

"That's why I want to ask you something." he says and I nod.

"Hmm?" I say.

"You know that I love you and that you make me incredibly happy, I consider myself to be the luckiest man in the world to have met you and to be with you. I want you to be mine forever and I erm know we just got back together almost two months ago, but I um.." he trails off and sighs nervously.

"Paul honey, what is it?" I ask and he takes a deep breath and unwraps his body from mine and stands up and I too stand up as he stands in front of me.

He licks his lips and and slowly reaches into his dress pants pocket as he changed into a white dress shirt, brown pants and a matching blazer, to take out a red velvet box. He bends down to rest on one knee and he slowly opens the box to reveal to me a stunning diamond ring.


	20. Chapter 20

"Jacquelyn Anderson, will you become my wife?" Paul says shakily and my mouth hangs open in surprise. He's, he's proposing! I smile at his nervous, flushed face and I don't need to think about it but I now by the number of seconds I made him wait must seem like hours to him.

"Yes!" I excitedly announce and he sighs and stands up and we wrap our arms around each other.

"You're gonna be my wife." I hear him say in a giddy tone as we hug and I giggle and pull away as we both have grins on our faces that reach ear to ear. We both lean in and meet in a heartfelt kiss and our lips move against the others for a number of seconds and he pulls away as his lips leave the stick of mine.

"I love you." he says softly as he traces the lining of my cheekbone with his finger as we stare into each others eyes.

"I love you too." I say and he smiles and we both look down to his fingers as he takes out the ring and slips it onto the third finger of my left hand. It fits perfectly, as if it's meant to be there.

I smile at the sight of the absolutely gorgeous diamond ring as it's set in a gold band. I'm engaged. I'm getting married. I'm going to be Mrs. Paul McCartney. I look back up to him to see him looking at me with a warm smile. He presses his lips against mine in another sweet kiss as his hand rests on my cheek and I kiss him back as our lips slowly move together and he pulls away after a minute.

"It's cold out here, let's go in." he says with a grin and I nod and help him bring the wine and blankets in. He takes my hand and we walk in the dark back to the house and we enter the warmth. I went to put the blankets and pillows away in the main guest bedroom while Paul brought the wine into the kitchen when I hear a loud crack of thunder and the lights go out, just perfect because I hate the dark.

"Paul?!" I call out a bit afraid and I stumble around and flick the light switch up and down but nothing happens.

"It's just the storm, love. Where are you?!" he asks and I continue to stumble around and i get out into the hall and I run into a hard mass.

"Hey there." I hear Paul say as he wraps his arm around my waist and I wrap mine around his and he leads us into the kitchen. He searches in the drawers for the flashlight and for candles but we can't find any candles.

"I'll go check the box, you just stay up here." he says and I nod slowly and he kisses my forehead and I go to the couch. I sit there a bit scared while he's down in the basement and Martha is probably sleeping somewhere while the thunder is scaring the crap out of me as something taps against the windows and I slouch into the sofa. I feel a pair of hands on my shoulders and I jump.

"Ey calm down, it's just me." I hear Paul say and I let out a breath and he comes round the couch and lays down beside me and rubs my back.

"So fiancé, do you want to make a bed down here tonight?" he says in a happy tone and I smile against his chest as his arms are wrapped around me and I shiver.

"Hmm, I should make a fire, huh?" I hear him say and I nod quickly and he kisses the top of my head before he gets up and heads over to the fireplace and lights a few logs that he had thrown on. After a fire is a goin' we grab the mattress from the main guest bedroom, blankets and pillows and plop them down in the middle of the living room to make a bed.

"Don't we have any candles, love?" I hear Paul say as I'm laying the soft blanket and comforter on the mattress while he's going through drawers in search of candles.

"We should, but they're probably all out in the dome." I answer jokingly and he giggles.

"Aha, there ya are." I hear him say and he finds some and places them on the table and lights them and I stand there thinking about pajamas.

"Hmm?" Paul asks me as he notices my far away look.

"I don't wanna go upstairs to get pajamas." I admit.

"Ya don't have to, just strip." he says and he strips off his clothes and I giggle and strip down to my intimates and Paul strips off everything and we slip into the bed and cuddle to get warm.

"Ready to become Mrs. McCartney?" I hear Paul say as our arms are wrapped around each other and I look up to see his flawless face being illuminated by the candles and the strong fire.

"Yes. Are you ready to be a married man?" I ask as I caress his stubbly cheek.

"Yes I am." he says and he lovingly kisses my forehead and I smile while he does it.

"The fans are gonna hate me more." I state the obvious and he shrugs and rests his forehead against mine.

"They don't matter, J. It's none of their business and they're not gonna stop us from getting married." he says and I nod with a smile as I feel our legs tangle together.

"When should we tell people?" I ask and I feel his hand trail to my back and unclip my bra and linger there.

"We could invite the lads over erm tomorrow and my family too, have a little get together and tell them all then." he says and I nod and remove my bra to toss it onto the floor.

"What about my family? Just tell them over the phone?" I ask and he scrunches his nose and purses his lips. This man is going to become my husband, and one day maybe soon he'll father my children. I wouldn't want it any other way.

"Hmm, how about we go surprise visit them next week before the sessions for the album start?" he asks and I nod excitedly with a large smile and he kisses me again and I smile into the heartfelt kiss. I strip the rest of my clothes off and snuggle more into Paul as I feel his calloused fingertips lightly trail up the length of my back.

**AN: Thoughts?**


	21. Chapter 21

"When do ya reckon we should put a little baby in there?" I hear Paul say as his hand moved to my bare belly and I smile at his words.

"I thought you wanted to wait until after we got married." I say confused as his hand still rests there.

"Well, we could always just get pregnant now. Do you want a long or short engagement?" he asks and I look down to where his hand rests and I smile.

"Short, but what about planning the wedding?" I ask.

"It doesn't have to be that elaborate, just invite yer family, mine, the lads and whoever else we'd want. Do you want it inside or outside?" he asks and I huff and think.

"A summer wedding?" I ask and he smiles at my question.

"I'd like that, but if I got you pregnant sometime soon you'd already be about 5 months. How about a spring wedding?" he says and I nod liking the idea.

"Do you want to get pregnant now or wait, love? Because it's all up to you, since you'll be carrying the baby?" he asks sweetly and I think.

"Now." I answer and he nods and presses his lips against mine and we end up making love that night in front of the fire in the hopes of making a baby.

* * *

The next afternoon we're both in the kitchen getting some food together as everybody will be coming anytime in the next hour and all bringing a dish.

"Do ya reckon there's a baby in there right now?" Paul asks me as he hugs me from behind and rests his hands on my stomach.

"I dunno, maybe." I answer with a smile and he nods and kisses my neck and returns to the plates and silverware. I'm not sure if one time did it, I didn't take my pill this morning, so we didn't use any protection but we're gonna keep trying and then I'll take a test eventually. Engaged and possibly pregnant in one night? It all happened so fast but I'm glad for it and the pace it happened at. Nobody but Paul and I know about the engagement which is the point of this little get together to announce it and I can't wait but I'm nervous.

John, Cyn and Julian are the first to arrive and Cyn comes into the kitchen to help set up food.

"Uh what is that?" I hear Cyn say as i'm rearranging the plates and silverware that Paul had gotten out earlier.

"What's what?" I ask and she points to my engagement ring. She noticed. I blush with a smile as I try to think of what to say.

"He did? Oh my Jackie, that's wonderful!" she says happily and I nod and we both hug and she squeals and I can't help but laugh.

"What're you girls squealing about in here?" Paul says as he enters the kitchen in black pants and a blue dress shirt as he heads for a drink in the fridge. Cyn and I pull apart and she has a grin plastered on her face and I can't help but laugh.

"Congratulations you two." she says patting Paul's back and he faces us looking confused but then nods and smiles.

"How'd you find out?" he asks with a small smile.

"It's kinda hard to not notice that big rock on her finger." she says and I smirk and turn back to the food.

"That's why we called you lot here, don't spill it though, alright?" I hear him say and Cyn says yes.

"I'll be in the music room with John, so if ya need anything just give a call." Paul says softly to me as he walks over to me and rests his hand on my lower back.

"Okay." I say and turn to him.

"I love you." he says sweetly as we look at each other.

"I love you too." I say and he leans in for a quick peck, then heads up the stairs just as I hear the door open and Mo, Ritchie come in and Zak runs over to Julian whose playing with his toys. Us girls finish the food and hang out with the kids in the living room as the four guys hang out in the music room upstairs and soon enough Paul's family arrives and luckily nobody else noticed my ring.

"Paul McCartney, get yer butt down here!" Mo calls up to Paul and I laugh.

"What is it, Mo?!" he says in a false annoyed tone as he stands at the railing.

"Come eat!" she says and I continue to laugh at her.

"Yer supposed to be Ritchie's wife, not mine, Mo." he says jokingly and she rolls her eyes and turns her attention back to her two boys and the four come down the stairs. I go into the kitchen for a glass of water and only Paul follows me.

"You feeling alright, babe?" he asks me as he grabs a plate and I nod. I hadn't been feeling off at all so maybe I'm not pregnant just yet, bummer.

Everybody joins us and we all take our plates back into the living room and in the middle of people talking and eating Paul clinks his knife against his wine glass with milk in it and everybody draws their attention to him. He sets his glass on the side table and enlaces his hand with mine.

"Jackie and I had you all come here today so we could erm, make an announcement. Jackie and I are engaged!" he announces proudly while we both have grins on our faces and they all applaud and we give hugs. It went better then I thought it would and they all stayed for a few hours until they have to leave because of naps or prior engagements.

**AN: Ooo more happy things! What are your thoughts on what all is happening?**


	22. Chapter 22

The next six days go by fast as Paul and I hang out at home and we keep on trying to get pregnant.

* * *

This morning we're packing to go to the states to visit my family and our flight is later this morning.

"Hey I'm gonna go into town quick, is that okay?" I say to Paul as we're both in the bathroom as I'm brushing my hair and he's shaving.

"Yeah, what for, love?" he asks.

"Um, to go to the clinic for a test." I admit as he's wiping off the excess shaving cream and he looks to me with a smile.

"Do you want me to come with?" he asks.

"Uh, I'll be fine." I say and he nods.

"Good luck, babe." he says and we hug.

"Thanks." I say and we pull apart and we kiss.

"I love you." he says after pulling away.

"I love you too." I say and peck him once more and leave to go downstairs and I get in the car and drive off to the clinic for the appointment I made. I get there, check in, they have me give a urine sample and I'm now waiting for the results in the doctors office.

"Good morning, Ms. Anderson." the male doctor says as he walks in.

"Hi, doctor." I say and he sits down at his desk across from me and he tells me the results and I leave afterwards and go home to tell Paul. I find him in the kitchen eating a last bite of toast, still in his pjs and he looks up when I come in.

"Hey babe, how'd everything go?" he says.

"Good." I answer as I head for the fridge and pour myself a glass of orange juice.

"Well are you pregnant?" he asks and I turn around to face him.

"You'll be a dad in about 8 and a half months." I admit slowly with a smile and I watch as a grin spreads over his face and reaches from ear to ear and he wraps his arms around me and hugs me.

"J, we're having a baby!" I hear him say in a giddy tone and I smile against his shoulder. I was ecstatic to hear the doctors good news that the test came out positive and that I'm already two weeks, since that's how they predict due dates, you're already two weeks from your last period.

Paul and I are going to have a baby, a son or a daughter. I'm gonna be a mom, it really excites me but makes me just a tad nervous because i'm growing a little human inside of me right now and they're going to rely on Paul and I to take care of him or her. I honestly can't wait. We pull away and we both have massive grins on our faces and we both move in to meet in a sweet kiss and he pulls away after a few seconds.

"We're gonna be parents!" Paul says as his hands move to my stomach and rest there.

"I'm so excited!" I admit with a smile as we both look down to where his hands rest, there's a tiny baby underneath his hands.

"So am I!" he says and we hug again and I stay there in his arms for a minute as I try to take all of this in. I'm engaged to be married and I'm expecting a baby in 8 and a half months, both with Paul. He pulls away and we go upstairs to pack the rest and we both change as our flight is in an hour.

"Remember how we used to joke about having kids? Now it's a reality, J, we're gonna have a baby." Paul says as we both get dressed and I nod with a smile.

"It doesn't really seem real." I confess and he nods in agreement.

"Just wait until you start showing, you'll be beautiful pregnant." he says and I laugh.

"You'll still think I'm beautiful with a big baby bump and mood swings?" I ask and I hear him chuckle as he's putting on his belt and I'm throwing pairs of socks into the suitcase.

"O' course I will, I am marrying you." he answers and lays down beside me on the bed and I lay my head on his chest.

"I love you." I say as I look up at his smiling face.

"I love you too darling and I can't wait for you to become my wife and for us to have this baby." he says and rests his hand on my stomach again and kisses my forehead.

"I'm kind of nervous." I admit and he nods with a small smile.

"So am I, but I'm sure it'll all go well and turn out fine. We have 8 and a half months to prepare for this little ones arrival anyways." he says softly as he reassures me and I nod and put my hand on top of his.

"8 and a half months seems like a long time." I say as we gaze at each other with little smirks on our faces.

"Yeah it does, but I bet it'll go by fast and before we know it our baby will be here." he says and I nod with a smile.

"When should we tell people?" I ask a bit nervously.

"Hmm well, would you want to wait a few months just to be safe? Or instead tell people now?" he says and I purse my lips as I think.

"It's gonna be hard to keep it a secret for a few months." I admit and he nods. It's the first week of March and we plan on getting married sometime around May or June.

"Yeah it will, maybe we should wait until after we get married." he says and I nod since that'd make sense and probably work better. We get up off the bed and grab our suitcases, leave for the airport and go through all the baggage stuff at the airport and get on the plane in the private area in back.

"Are you feeling alright, honey?" Paul asks me as I rest my head on his shoulder after we just sat down and he brushes my bangs out of my eyes. I feel fine now and I've never gotten sick on a plane and I surprisingly haven't had any morning sickness at all so far with the pregnancy.

"Yeah I'm fine." I say and he nods and keeps his eyes on me.

"If you feel sick or anything just tell me, alright?" he says in a caring tone and I nod and close my eyes and he kisses my forehead. I feel like ever since we got engaged and now that i'm pregnant with his baby, he's more protective of me, but I kind of like it and I see why he would be and he always has been protective of me ever since we met.

**AN: Thoughts? **


	23. Chapter 23

The long flight goes well and I fortunately didn't get sick at all but I had a few moments where I felt close to it. Paul was supportive all through it and rubbed my back, I'm so lucky to have him. We get our luggage after arriving and get in the cab Paul called for us and we go on our way to my parents house. I lay my hands on my stomach as Paul sits next to me with his arm around my shoulder and I stare at my stomach and think of how Paul and i's baby is in there right now growing. We get to my house and grab our suitcases out of the trunk and walk up the steps and knock and I soon hear voices and footsteps.

"Jackie!" my mom says as she opens the door and we both give hugs as the whole family comes to the door.

"What are you two doing here?!" my mom says as we enter the house and set our bags on the couch and we all sit down. I look to Paul to see if we should tell them right this second and he gives me a warm smile.

"Well we thought we would tell you all in person." Paul says and my three siblings and parents look confused.

"Tell us what?" Cody says and Paul looks to me and nods for me to announce and he wraps his arm around my waist.

"Paul and I are getting married." I announce with a smile and they all say congratulations and we give hugs again as everybody is happy and excited for us. After catching up and talking for a bit Paul and I bring our suitcases into my room and set them on the bed.

"Do you want to stay here or at Holly's, love?" Paul asks me as I sit down on the bed not feeling so good.

"Doesn't matter." I mutter as I rub my temples and he sits down beside me and puts his hand on my lower back.

"Darling, is something wrong?" he asks in a worried tone.

"I don't feel so good." I say and I lay down on my bed and close my eyes.

"I'll go get you a glass of water or see if yer mum has ginger ale." he says in a caring tone and strokes my cheek and kisses my forehead and I hear him walk out.

"Here, love." I hear him say as he enters after a minute and I sit up and sip at the ginger ale and he sits beside me and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"Is it helping any?" he asks as his arm is around my waist and i sigh and slowly nod, it is a little bit. The last thing I ate was a meal on the plane and I'm feeling like it won't be staying down. I set the drink down and hurriedly walk to the bathroom and Paul follows on my tail and closes the door behind us and turns on the air and I bend over the toilet and sure enough I throw up. I feel Paul hold my hair and rub my back.

"Shh it's okay." I hear him say and I spit up again and flush, it's over luckily and I feel like crap. I hear the water run and Paul shortly presses a cold washcloth to my forehead and I grab toilet paper and wipe my mouth.

"I'm sorry, that's so gross." I say as I lean against the toilet and Paul sits beside me and I hold the washcloth against my forehead that really helps.

"Don't be sorry, it's okay darling. I might as well get used to it and I don't mind, love. I just hate seeing you sick and uncomfortable." he says sweetly and tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear and I nod and rub my eyes and he pulls me onto his lap and pushes my head down to rest on his chest and he wraps his arms around me and softly sings to me.

"Are you okay, darling?" he asks quietly and I nod because it actually made me feel a bit better, surprisingly and unfortunately. We sit there for a few minutes as he holds me and sings to me while I cool down and we both get up and go back to my room.

"Is everything alright?" my mom asks as we exit the bathroom. Oh crap.

"Yeah, Jackie just wasn't feeling well from the flight." Paul says saving me and I take his hand and he gives my hand a squeeze.

"Oh, I hope you feel better, sweetie." my mom says in a loving tone and I thank her with a weak smile and we go back into my room and I lay down and sip at the ginger ale while the washcloth lays on my forehead.

"Are you two going to join us for a late dinner?" my dad says as he stays on the other side of the door.

"Uh maybe in a little bit." Paul answers as he sits by me on the side of the bed and rubs my thigh and my dad says 'okay' and leaves.

"You should try eating something, love. Only when yer ready though." Paul says turning back to me and I nod even though I don't want to try to eat anything right now.

"You can go eat, i'm fine." I say as we look at each other and his face is soft but stricken with worry.

"I'm fine, darling. I wanna stay here with you to make sure you're alright." he says sweetly and I smile.

"Thanks, but honestly go and eat. I'm fine and I'll be out in a minute." I say softly and I take a gulp of the cold ginger ale.

"Are you sure?" he asks and I nod.

"Do you want me to make you a plate?" he asks me sweetly and I nod and he lovingly kisses my forehead for a few seconds and gives me a smile before leaving for the kitchen.

I continue to sip at the ginger ale and I sit up and rest my forehead against my palm. 'S_o this is what the next 8 and a half months are going to be like?_', I think. They definitely glamourize pregnancy on tv and in magazines, it is not as wonderful and enjoyable as they make it sound, I can already tell. I find my toothbrush and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get this rotten taste out of my mouth. I go into the kitchen and everybody's sitting at the table and Paul's plate is at his empty chair while he's making me a plate, he's so good to me. I give my mom a smile and she gives me a questioning look to ask how I am and I nod and walk over to Paul

"Hi." I say as rub his back for a second and he turns to me with a smile

"I didn't put all too much on yer plate, love, but you can just try and eat what you want." he says quietly and I nod and kiss his cheek. Paul and I sit down together and try to follow the discussion my dad and two brothers are having about the local sports team and I learn how Sarah had left Molly and her other child home with her husband for the night.

"Does anybody want wine?" my dad asks as he's at the counter with glasses and a bottle. Everybody says whether they want any and then it comes to Paul and I.

"Honey, would you like some?" my dad asks me. Oh crap, what do I say? I can't let them all know I'm pregnant right now.

"No thanks, Dad." I say and he nods slowly and asks Paul.

"No thanks, Jackie and I'll just stick with milk." Paul says and I squeeze his hand under the table and take a small bite of the potatoes my mom made. I hadn't eaten a whole lot, but I at least ate something for the sake of the baby and Paul gestured for me to take another bite once or twice and he seemed to be thinking of the baby too and I did.


	24. Chapter 24

We all finished dinner and Paul was out in the living room with my family since I told him I'm fine because he's worrying about me and I'm just changing clothes. Sarah knocks and I let her in as I'm stuffing clothes back into the suitcase.

"Are you feeling better?" she asks as she sits down on the bed and I nod.

"Jackie, is there something going on that I don't know about?" she asks shyly. Sarah and i have always been close and she's pretty observant and able to notice some things most people don't, can she tell I'm pregnant? I decide to lie and I shake my head.

"Would you um happen to have any pads?" she asks me as girl to girl.

"Um no I don't." I answer as I zip the suitcase.

"Are you not on it right now?" she asks and I shake my head slowly.

"Are you pregnant? You can tell me the truth." she says in a soft and inviting tone. I nod slowly and she smiles and pulls me into a hug.

"My baby sister is going to be a mom!" she says and I laugh as our arms are around the other.

"Is that way you two are getting married?" she asks after we part and sit down on the bed.

"No, the engagement came first. Please don't tell anybody though, we weren't going to tell people until after the wedding." I say and she nods and I know she'll keep it a secret.

"When did you find out?" she asks with a smile.

"This morning, I'm only two weeks I think the doctor said." I say and she nods with a smile.

"I'm so happy for you two, really Jackie I am, it's so great you guys found each other." she says and I nod in agreement, it really is. Paul comes in and smiles at us and sets his glass down on the bedside table and sits on the bed.

"What're you girls talking about?" he asks curiously.

"Sarah here, um found out on her own about the baby." I admit and he nods with a smile.

"Ya did, eh? Gear, just try and keep it a secret though, cos nobody else knows and we intend to keep it that way for a month or two at the least." Paul says and she nods and he winks at me and I smile.

"Well I should get going, it was good to see you guys and congratulations." she says as she gets up and we all hug and she leaves.

"Do you want to stay at Holly's instead? I think there'd be more room and plus I wanna see her." I say to Paul.

"Sure, I have no problem with it." he says and we get our stuff, say goodbye and go over to Holly's to surprise her.

"Don't you guys own a phone?" she says in a fake annoyed tone when she answers the door but we all laugh and give hugs and she invites us in.

"Hey Holls, I hope yer fridge is stocked!" Paul says as we walk in and we all laugh. She says she'd love it if we stay and we bring our bags into my old room and I notice it to already be 11 and Paul and I are both tired.

"I'm gonna go chat with Holly, okay?" I say as we're both in my room getting ready for bed.

"Okay, just wake me up if you need me." he says and I nod.

"I love you." he says before I leave and I hug him and kiss him goodnight.

"I love you too." I say and he smiles and places his hand on my stomach.

"I love you, little baby." he says sweetly and I kiss his cheek and leave him to sleep and I find Holly sitting on the couch. I remember how Paul and I were so sidetracked and tired we forgot to tell her about the engagement so I decide to tell her.

"Hey Holly, I have something to tell you." I say as I sit beside her and she looks to me and nods.

"Paul and I are engaged." I confess and she smiles while squealing and we hug.

"Do I get to be the maid of honor?" she asks as we pull apart and I laugh and shrug.

"We haven't gotten that far in planning, we only got engaged about a week ago." I say and she nods and takes my left hand in hers.

"Oh Jackie, it's gorgeous! He really outdid himself!" she says and I nod as we both admire the diamond ring. We talk a bit more, catching up and I inform her on how he proposed and she loved the details.

"Do you have any ginger ale by chance?" I ask her as we're in the kitchen now and I'm munching on pieces of cheese and crackers because I'm suddenly hungry and cheese first came to mind.

"Yeah, there's a few bottles in the door. Are you not feeling good?" she says and I consider telling her about the baby because I've always been able to tell her anything and she won't spill it to anybody, but Sarah already knows and I think of how Paul wants to wait until after the wedding and I'd like to have him there when I tell her.

"No, the flight here messed with my stomach." I admit and she nods and I take a gulp of my glass of water.

I wish I could tell her right now because I know how incredibly happy she would be, but it'd be more reasonable to wait a few months in case anything went wrong and I do worry a bit about how my parents will react since they'll figure out I got pregnant before the wedding. I finish my cheese and crackers and bid goodnight to Holly and sneak into the bedroom and I hear Paul lightly snoring and I smile at my fiancé. I slip under the covers and move so I'm laying right next to him and he's facing me and his body stirs and he wraps and arm around me and I snuggle into his warm, bare chest and I quickly fall asleep there in my fiancé's arms as an engaged woman and as an expecting woman.


	25. Chapter 25

Paul and I stay in the states for the next 3 days and the morning sickness and occasionally queasiness stayed unfortunately but Paul was great and supportive all through it. He went back to the studio when we got back for recording the of the new album and I hung out with Cyn and Mo like always and the secret about the baby is just gnawing at me, it's so hard not to tell anybody.

* * *

A few days after we had gotten back Paul came home from the studio and I was laying in bed, I hadn't felt good all day but he had no idea because he left before I woke up.

"Hey darling." he says as he walks into our bedroom.

"Hi." I say with a yawn and he lays beside me.

"Why're you in bed?" he asks as I feel his warm hand on my cheek.

"Don't feel good." I admit and I hear him sigh and he wraps his arms around me and I rest my forehead on his shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" he asks and I think and I shake my head 'no'.

"What'd you do today?" he asks quietly as he rubs his thumb along my neck.

"Laid in bed and threw up a few times." I confess and I hear him sigh and he kisses my cheek.

"If I made some toast, do you think you'd be able to eat it?" he asks and I shrug.

"I'm gonna make a few pieces, just try for me, okay?" he asks and I nod and he kisses my forehead and goes downstairs and comes up not too long after with a glass of milk and plate with toast on it and he hands me one and a I nibble at it.

"C'mon, the baby needs it." he says softly but not in a forceful way, just to mention it. I nod and slowly work on the first piece and finish it.

"Good, now see if ya can take a few bites from this one." he says softly and I nod and take a bite of the toast that had grape jelly on it and I smile at the delicious taste.

"Mmm." I say and i see Paul smile as he watches me eat.

"How was the studio?" I ask as we sit beside each other cross legged.

"Fine, just had a mess around with a few songs. I'm sorry you had such a bad day, love. I didn't know that you weren't feeling well, let alone being sick in bed all day." he says as I cautiously take a few more bites.

"It's okay, I didn't really see the point in calling you cause I didn't want you worrying about me." i say and he nods and hands me the glass of milk and I chug half of it.

"Feeling any better?" he asks curiously and I nod because the toast and milk helped, but I'm not exactly confident in the knowledge the food will stay down.

"Good, I'm glad ya are." he says with a warm smile and I smile back and he gets off the bed and strips down to his boxers and slips into bed.

"Did you eat?" I ask and he nods.

"Mmhmm, at the studio." he says as his strong arms are behind his hairy head and I nod and take one last bite of the half eaten toast and a drink of the milk. I set the plate and milk on the bedside table and move over to Paul and lay my head on his chest and he wraps his arm around my waist.

"Full?" I hear him ask as I close my eyes and his warm hand rubs my arm.

"Yeah." I answer.

"I have tomorrow off, so do you maybe just want to have a lie around if you're not feeling well?" he says.

I feel bad that he worries about me and that he has to see me sick and get sick, but we both decided to have a baby and it took both of us. I just wish I didn't get sick so much and as much as I find it caring and sweet of Paul to worry about me, he doesn't need to so much but that's how he is and I'm not gonna argue about it. I lay there on his warm chest as I feel his long fingers run themselves through my hair while I listen to his steady heartbeat and his chest rises and falls with each breath he takes.

"Paul?" I say.

"Yeah, babe?" I hear him answer.

"I love you very much." I say.

"I love you very very much, Jackie." he says sweetly and I can hear the smile in his voice.

* * *

The next two months go by as we plan the wedding, Paul works, I continue to endure the morning sickness that I get used to and ig eventually goes away and before we knew it our wedding day comes. We planned to get married on May 20th after some fast planning, sending out invitations and having had made an announcement to the press a bit after we came back from the states about our engagement.

Today is the day and my family flew to the London for the wedding and so did Holly and now I'm in the ladies dressing room at the church where we're getting married. The ceremony is outside while the reception is back at the house and us girls are sitting around getting our hair done while the men are in their dressing room here at the church in London. I will be 4 months on the 16th of June, so basically I'm 3 and half months and 2 days. The past 3 and a half months have been great mostly and Paul and I are very excited to have a baby and I already know he'll make a great father and we both can't wait for the baby to be here. We haven't bought much or done much for the baby's room, because there's no way to know whether it's a boy or a girl and what the name will be but we're working on a list of names. I haven't started showing and probably won't until 5 months because of my petite figure and also because it's my first pregnancy, thank goodness.

The dress is gorgeous, light creme with short sleeves and mostly loose but snug fitting and it goes down to my feet and has a train and has no cleavage. Holly, Sarah, my mom, Paul's little sister Ruth, Cyn, Mo, Pattie, Paul's step mom Angie, Mike's girl Angie and I are all in chairs right now getting our hair curled and put up and how we want it done. None of us are in our dresses as we're in our casual clothes and I'm in a skirt and a nice red shirt that does a great job of showing off my full boobs that have gotten bigger over the past 3 months of my pregnancy. I look in the mirror to see my blonde bangs getting tied back and a barrette being put in in back and the lady does a few spritz or hair spray and I'm done. I examine my hair which is down and all curled and I really like it and i'm sure Paul will too.

It's 10 in the morning right now and the wedding is at 2 and I already really miss Paul even though I saw him two hours ago so I sneak out of the room and wander the halls until i find the door labeled 'men's dressing room' and I knock lightly and John answers.

"Ey, you're supposed to be getting yer hair done and getting all dolled up!" he says quietly and I laugh.

"C'mon John, let me see my groom!" I say and cross my arms in front of my chest.

"Ey Macca, I'm not sure whether I should let yer bride see you or not!" John calls back into the room which holds; my dad, Paul's dad, my two brothers, John, George, Rings, Mike and of course my groom.

"What're you saying, John?" I hear Paul call out and I smile at hearing his voice.

**AN: Thoughts? As always I hope you're enjoying these parts!**


	26. Chapter 26

"Yer bride is trying to break the rules by seeing ya before the wedding!" John says and I huff and stand there expectantly.

"Ah, so she is. Let me see her then!" I hear Paul say as his voice gets louder and John hunches his eyebrows and steps out of the way for my handsome groom to see me.

"Well don't you look stunning!" he says as he walks out and closes the door behind himself and he's still in jeans and a button up.

"I've only gotten my hair done!" I say as he wraps his arms around me and presses his sweet lips to mine in a loving kiss that lasts a number of seconds.

"You still look gorgeous." he says after he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine.

"Thanks." I say as I caress his newly shaven, soft cheek as we stare at each other lovingly.

"How ya feeling?" he asks quietly as our arms are wrapped around the others waist.

"Good, I have butterflies in my stomach though." I admit and he nods with a small smile.

"Is that from the baby or nerves?" he asks and I scrunch my nose and he kisses it.

"Uh both, but I'm not feeling sick if that's what you mean." I say and he nods with a small sigh.

"How's everything going in hair and makeup?" paul says with a soft laugh and I giggle and bury my face into his chest and remove it after giggling.

"Good, everybody's getting their hair done." I say and he nods and then places his hand on my stomach.

"Is the baby hungry?" he asks and I shrug since i'm not really, but I had some strawberries in the past hour. Surprisingly nobody has found out that i'm pregnant from seeing me snack on food, but maybe they just think it's nerves.

"I should let you finish getting ready then." he says and I look up to him and nod and he leans down and kisses me and we say bye and I leave. I sneak back in, get my makeup done and eventually get on my dress and heels as does everybody else. Mike is Paul's best man while George, John, Rings and my brothers are the ushers while Holly is my maid of honor, Sarah, Pattie and Cyn are my bridesmaids and Mo is gonna stay in the seats with the kids.

* * *

I get more nervous as 2 approaches fast and before I knew it my dad came to our room and had a look of awe on his face when he saw me in my dress, he looks like he's about to cry.

"Baby girl, you look so gorgeous." he says and I smile and hug him.

"Thanks dad and thanks for walking me down the aisle." I say while in the hug and we part and he nods and kisses my forehead.

I grab my bouquet and follow the bridesmaids and ushers and Ruth and Molly who are the flower girls. I hear the music start to play as my arm is hooked in my dads and I spot Paul whose back is to me and the celebrant/pastor who stands at the alter by him and I smile and take a deep breath before Paul turns around and his eyes catch me and the corners of his mouth rise into a grin that shows off his chubby cheeks. Paul's and i's eyes are only for each other as I get closer and closer to him and we both have smiles on our faces and soon enough my dad kisses my cheek and I join Paul and we hold each others hands.

"We are gathered here today to join together James and Jacquelyn in holy matrimony. If any one can show why they should'nt be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace. Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" the pastor says after everybody sits down and stops talking and my parents say 'we do' and he carries on.

"James, do you take Jacquelyn to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish her from this day forward, for as long as you both shall live?" he addresses Paul and I smirk at the use of my name and Paul looks at me with a grin like 'stop laughing because we're supposed be listening' but he smirks too and looks back to the Pastor.

"I do." Paul says simply and sweetly and I smile at his words.

"Jacquelyn, do you take James to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love, honour, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, for as long as you both shall live?" the pastor addresses me and I smile at the use of Paul's first name and he gently squeezes my hands.

"I do." I say.

"I James take you Jacquelyn to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part." Paul repeats after the pastor as we look into each others eyes.

"I Jacquelyn take you James to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part." I repeat after the pastor and Paul smiles as he listens to me. The rest of the ceremony goes on and the rings are exchanged.

"You may now kiss the bride." the pastor announces and Paul smiles and winks at me and I wrap my arms around his neck and he places his hands on my hips and we kiss our first kiss as a married couple and we part after a few seconds and deep kissing and of course cheering. We face our family and friends and Paul takes my hand and we walk down the aisle and into the church.

"How does it feel to be Mrs. McCartney?" Paul asks me as we stop in the church and I lean against the wall as he's in front of me while we hold hands.

"Amazing." I say and he smiles and leans in to deeply kiss me for a minute and then he pulls away and takes my hand and we walk out as people toss flower petals at us and we get in the car and the driver takes off.

I snuggle into Paul's shoulder and I place my hand on his thigh as he's in black dress pants, a black blazer, his gold vest and a bow tie, looking absolutely handsome and of course sexy. He wraps his arm around my waist and I close my eyes and he kisses the top of my head and I kick off my heels that are bugging me.


	27. Chapter 27

We ride to the house in silence and we're the first ones to arrive. I notice the hoards of fans outside the gate and there were also some at the church, they all seem to be unhappy but Paul doesn't mind it and i don't let it bother me. I think of how i'm one of them and i just became the most admired girl in the world by marrying the last bachelor beatle. Paul helps me out and unlocks the door but stops me before we walk in. He gathers me into his arms and carries me bridal style into the living room and I laugh all while and he sets me down.

"Thanks, husband." I say and he smirks at the title.

"You're welcome, wifey." he says and I giggle and go to our room to change into my dress that's basically identical to my other one, but with no train. I find Paul laying on the bed with his hands behind his head and his eyes closed and I hear the door open downstairs.

"Come on, husband. We can sleep later." I say as I jiggle his foot and he smiles and follows me downstairs and we join our company and we all go outside where everything is set up.

There's tables for food, tables for people to sit at and chairs of course, a little dance area with beautiful lights strewn in the branches of the trees, a table by the food specifically for presents for cards and it all looks fantastic. Paul and I walk around talking to people and then my tummy rumbles and I go over to the food and dish up on the delicious food and find the table that Holly is sitting at and some others of the wedding party.

"Hey, Mrs. McCartney." she says as I sit down beside her and I smile at the name.

"Hi, how're you?" I say as I grab a pickle off of the plate and take a bite.

"Great, and you?" she says and I eat another baby pickle.

"Fantastic." I admit truthfully and she smiles and works on her food and I drape my arm over my legs and let it discreetly rest on my stomach, on my baby.

"There's my wife!" Paul says as he comes to sit down by me with a plate of his own and he leans down to kiss me before he sits down. Holly leaves to get a drink and so it's just Paul and I now as everybody is standing around talking or eating at a table.

"O' course you have pickles." paul remarks and I nod while giggling since I've been craving them for the past two months and I can eat a jar easily.

The rest of the wedding party comes to sit by us and we all chat with each other while eating and John and George crack plenty of jokes that put everybody in stitches.

The cake arrives from the caterers before we were done with our food and Paul and I get up from our seats and walk hand in hand over to where the white cake sits on the table by the food and Paul takes the knife and I stand by him as everybody watches us and we have grins while he cuts a piece and my hands rests on top of his. We split the large piece in half and we take a little piece and hook our arms and eat it and we both laugh as we lick our fingers and he goes first with feeding me.

"Be nice you two!" one of Paul's aunts calls out and I laugh and stand there waiting for him to feed me.

"I will, I'm just not so sure about her!" he calls back and he looks back to me to find him looking at him and he smiles and winks. He feeds me the scrumptious piece of cake without spreading it all over my face, aww what a sweetie. I decide to be funny and I feed his to him and spread it on his cheeks and his chin and everybody laughs.

"Go Jackie! Woohoo!" I hear John cheer and I laugh as Paul snickers. He quickly wraps his arms around my waist and moves in to kiss me with his lips that are smothered in frosting.

"No!" I cry before he crushes his sweet tasting lips against mine and he kisses me deeply and I let him as I enjoy kissing him and I hear somebody whistle and I smile into the kiss as Paul's warm hands are on both of my cheeks while we're both invested in the kiss. He pulls away and we both wipe our mouths and he gets a napkin to wipe the frosting off and he winks at me while doing it and I giggle and grab two pieces of cake.

"Having that all for yourself, are we?" he asks as we're walking back to the main table.

"No, I could probably eat both though." I reply and we both laugh as we sit down and he wraps his arm around my shoulder and I place my hand on his long thigh. The cake is delicious with a light buttercream frosting and it's a mix of chocolate and vanilla sponge cake.

"I love you." I hear Paul whisper into my ear and kiss my cheek as we're finishing up our cake.

"I love you too." I say as I turn to him and I bring my hand to his pale cheek and I give him a sweet kiss.

"It's called a honeymoon, you too." I hear Mo state as she walks up and we both smile into the short kiss before I pull away.

"We're just warming up, Mo." Paul remarks and I blush and eat the last bite of my cake and I move closer to Paul and rest my head on his broad shoulder.

"I'm so full." I murmur as I close my eyes and I feel Paul's long fingers on the back of my neck.

"We're gonna have a chubby baby, J." I hear Paul whisper to me and I nod and laugh.

**AN: Thoughts?**


	28. Chapter 28

"I bet we'll have a cute baby." I whisper to Paul and he nods with a smile and he looks down to my stomach that shows no evidence whatsoever of a tiny baby the size of a lemon. I smile at the thought of what our baby will look like, but i'm sure he or she will be adorable considering their incredibly good looking father.

"Let's go have our first dance, shall we?" Paul says and I nod and we walk hand in hand towards the wooden dance floor that was laid down. Paul's hands rest on my hips while mine are on his shoulders and we smile at each other as soft music is played.

"I wonder if it's a boy or a girl." Paul says.

"Same here." I say and he smiles at me with his inviting eyes and I give him a peck. I rest my head on his shoulder as we dance closely together and he starts to softly sing by my ear.

"**_Who knows how long I've loved you, you know I love you still. Will i wait a lonely time, if you want me to I will_**…" he sings and I smile against his shoulder as his beautiful voice sings the words of this song. I couldn't have ever imagined things to turn out so great for my life, getting married to the man I fell in love with and now expecting a baby with him in November.

"I wrote that for you." I hear him whisper to me after he finishes singing it.

"Thank you, I love it." I say as I caress his soft cheek and he smiles at me and kisses my cheek. I watch as George walks up from behind Paul and taps him on the shoulder.

"Ya mind if I dance with yer bride for a moment?" he asks and I smile at George, sweet George.

"Yeah, just take good care of her, George. She's my baby." he says and he smiles at me and kisses my cheek before he leaves and i watch as he runs into Ruth and dances with her and it's a sweet sight.

"How are you this evening, Mrs. McCartney?" George asks as he takes my hand and the other rests on my waist.

"I'm great, thanks. How about you, George?" I say as he leads and the song changes.

"I'm swell." he says and I nod.

"George, I have a question, is marriage hard?" I ask curiously.

"It definitely isn't easy and if it is easy, yer not doing it right. But like most couples say, the first year is the hardest as you adjust and get used to being married, you know." he answers and I nod understanding him.

George and I talk and dance some more, then I dance with my two brothers and my dad and before I knew it I was back at the table sitting next to Paul as speeches are about to be made. John clinks his champagne glass and stands up and clears his throat.

"You know I remember the first time you two met, when Jackie won that contest to meet us four and you couldn't take yer eyes off of her! It was sweet though, because I'd honestly never seen you look at a bird like you did at, Jackie." John says and I look to Paul whose blushing and I smile at him and rest my head on his shoulder and he enlaces his right hand with mine as his hand rests on mine and I feel his soft thumb rub my hand.

"Now look, 4 years later you two are married and you'll probably have little dark haired kids running round the house in no time!" John says and we all laugh and I look to Paul and raise my eyebrows, how ironic he said that. He shrugs and John sits down and next up is Holly.

"First of all congrats to, you two. I'm Jackie's best friend Holly. I've known Jackie since we were 5 if I remember correctly and I'm so happy to see her as happy as you make her, Paul. I remember when we first started liking the beatles and she called dibs on you, but I never thought you two would end up married 5 years later." she says and I blush and stroke my thumb along Paul's thigh. He looks down to me and smiles and kisses my forehead.

"I remember when I actually met Paul for the first time, but I didn't know it was him because he had this goofy disguise on and even then you had your arm around her and you were protective of her. I'm so happy for you two and that you two got married." she says sweetly and we nod to her with smiles before she sits down. My brothers and Paul's brother all make nice, short toasts and then Paul unwraps his arm from my waist and stands up with his champagne glass as I'm drinking grape juice, ha.

"On behalf of Jackie and I, we all thank you for coming and sharing this very special day with us. I couldn't be any happier then how I am right now, finally being married to my Jackie and about to start our life together. I'm excited for what lies ahead for us, children, accomplishments and yes struggles, but I'm ready. Yes what John said was true, it was hard to believe such a beautiful woman was the fan that was chosen to meet us and I fondly remember the memories of when we first met and I'm glad that contest happened cos if it hadn't, I wouldn't be married to such a lovely lady. I love you Jackie." he says and everybody takes a drink of their champagne and I blushed and smiled all through his touching speech and I took a sip of my grape juice with everybody else.


	29. Chapter 29

Paul sits back down and replaces his arm around my waist and we sit there for awhile as people talk and continue to eat.

"You're so sweet." I say as I look up at him.

"Ta, so are you." he says with a smile and I smile back and he kisses my cheek. The party eventually ends and Paul and I change after most people leave and we set off for our honeymoon in Hawaii.

* * *

The honeymoon lasted a week and it was really great, doing a lot of the same stuff we did on our first visit there, and loads of other new things and the food there was delicious and we both got some good tans.

We decided to tell family about us expecting a week or two after the honeymoon and we were both relieved to get it out there. In the simplest of words everybody was thrilled that Paul and I are having a baby, but thrilled doesn't quite cover it but nonetheless everybody is supportive and very happy about the news.

* * *

The next two months go by quite fast as Paul and I get used to being married, he goes back to work and I hang out with Cyn and Mo like always and now I get to ask them all the baby questions I have. Cyn made sure I'd have a shower so she plans on throwing me one herself in August. Shortly after telling family we already started to get baby clothes and other little presents that we appreciated and I started to show towards the middle of July when I was 5 months and it started to become real then. The reality that Paul and I are having a baby gets real and we both get even more excited about it.

"I should of gotten you pregnant sooner, because yer very cute and sexy pregnant." Paul says as I'm getting dressed in our bedroom while he's on the bed and I laugh.

"Thanks. I might not be that cute when I'm nine months." I say as I slip on my shirt and lay beside him on the bed.

"Ah I bet you will be." he says with a smile and I sigh and turn to lay on my side and he lays his hand on my small bump.

"Felt the baby kick yet?" he asks curiously and I look down at my small baby bump.

"Um not really, just what the doctor said it feels like when the baby moves." I say and he nods and pulls back my shirt and rubs my smooth belly and I move my arm so my head can rest on it.

"You got a nice beard going you know." I say to him as I stroke his incredibly stubbly cheek and he smiles.

"Ta. You got a nice baby bump so far." he says with a grin and I sigh and smile.

"Thanks." I say and he nods and kisses me. All of a sudden I feel the baby kick, a strong definite kick.

"Did you feel that?!" I ask Paul with a big grin and in excited tone.

"Yeah, that was the baby kicking wasn't it?" he asks with a giddy smile and I nod and we both continue to smile and look down at my protruding belly.

"That was amazing." Paul says as his hand still lays on my pale belly.

"Yeah it was and it scared me." i admit with a soft laugh and we both chuckle and wait to see if the baby will kick again but it doesn't.

"I'm really excited to be a father." Paul says softly as we lift our gazes to each other and we look at each other lovingly.

"I'm really excited to be a mother." I say and we both smile.

In a matter of 4 months Paul's going to be a dad and I'm going to be a mom and we both honestly can't wait even though we're both nervous since we've never taken care of a newborn before and I've never given birth to a baby and we're lucky to have so much support from family and friends. Both of our parents are looking forward to having a grandchild and my parents plan on flying out for the birth and being here for at least the first week or so, so my mom can help me with the baby and all the questions I have and struggles.

"My mum would love you, you know and she'd be so glad I married such a great woman and now that I'm gonna become a dad." Paul says in a slightly sad tone.

"I bet she'd be proud of you." I say as I stroke his hairy cheek and he flashes me a weak smile as his hand stays on my bump.

"Yeah, I like to think she would be." he says quietly.

"Well with the Beatles and their big success I think she would be, and I'm sure she'd be happy to know that she raised such a wonderful man." I say sweetly with a smile and he smiles back.

"I love you." he says while we look at each other.

"I love you too." I say and we both lean in to meet in a sweet, passionate kiss that lasts a few seconds before we both pull away.

"If the baby is a girl, do you think we could possibly name her after my mum in some way?" he asks a bit shyly and I nod and he smiles.

"Yeah, I'd like that." I admit and he smiles again and moves to kiss my belly.

"I really like that one name for a boy." I say and he nods as we share eye contact.

"Me too, I think it'd go fairly well with the last name of McCartney." he says and I nod. The fans and press haven't quite found out that I'm having their beloved Beatles' baby and they sure weren't happy when I married him.

"It's kind of crazy to remember when we first started dating and now we're married and expecting a baby in 4 months." I state and Paul nods.

"I agree, but I wouldn't want it any other way." he says and he plants a sweet kiss on my forehead.

"Same here." I agree with a smile and he presses his warm lips against mine in a short, sweet kiss.

"I remember how sad we both were when I had to go back to London after we first met and now look at us, a married couple!" he says and I nod with a smile as I remember that.

I honestly never thought i'd see him again and that it was just my lucky day that I got to spend it with my favorite beatle and now I'm spending my life, every single day, with him. He moves in to touch his perfect lips to mine and we slowly kiss for a minute as our lips move together and my hand rests on his cheek while his left hand still lays on my stomach. We both pull away from the sweet kiss with little smirks on our faces and I sigh contently and lay my head down on the pillow.

**AN: What are your thoughts on these last few parts and this one? i'd love to hear them!**


	30. Chapter 30

**AN: I miss hearing from you all on what you think about these parts, please feel free to post reviews!**

"Yer getting big!" Paul comments and draws out the word 'big' as he says it and lays down beside me on the bed.

"Don't remind me." I state as I place my hands on my exposed, bare belly. 7 months has gone by so fast and I'm getting bigger and bigger. Paul lays on his side and kisses my large belly that holds our son or daughter and he places his hands on my belly and I move his hands to where the baby's feet our as the baby kicks a lot.

"Well somebody is active tonight!" Paul notes and I nod and groan. It's 10 o'clock and Paul just got done in the shower after we just finished our late dinner.

"Do you enjoy keeping yer mum up?" Paul says as he speaks to my belly while he rubs it.

"Yes." I reply for the baby and we both giggle.

"Can't you let her get a good nights sleep one of these nights, huh?" Paul queries and I giggle and close my eyes.

I soon feel Paul's luscious lips on my own and I move my hand to his neck while he continues to passionately kiss me. This came out of nowhere, but I sure did miss him today while he was at the studio so I welcome this surprise make out and I continue to feel the baby kicking and I giggle into this kiss and he pulls away as his knees rest on the bed by my sides.

"What're you laughing 'bout?" he questons with furrowed eye brows and I smile and take his hand and lay it on my stomach and his beautiful smile spreads across his face as he looks down at my belly.

"Woah." he remarks and moves to lay beside me and I frown, I wanna makeout.

"What's the matter?" he asks, looking at me with a small frown.

"I wanna kiss." I admit and he giggles.

"You should've just said so then." he says and winks at me with a cheeky grin.

He straddles me again and presses his lips against mine and deeply kisses me as I kiss him back. Mm I love him, I love my husband so very much. _Husband_, it took me awhile to get used to that but I absolutely love it. He is a wonderful husband to me and is so very supportive with the pregnancy and my mood swings, my wild hormones and me not wanting to make love sometimes. I would have never thought that marriage would be so great, even though we've of course had small, petty fights and usual fights married couples have, but we've gotten through them. I bring my attention back to my husbands lips that are pressed against mine and how amazing they feel upon mine, I love him so much. He pulls away and I frown and he giggles and pecks me a few times and then pulls away and I frown again and he laughs and smothers my face in sweet kisses and I smile all while.

"Mmm I love you." I declare.

"I love you too, sweetie." he says as my hands rest on his warm neck. He stops kissing me and looks me deep in the eyes and I smile and he does too.

"Why do you wanna make out all of a sudden? Yer usually cranky and tired when I want to make love." he notes quietly and I shrug and we both smile and he presses his lips against mine for a mere second and then pulls away.

"But I want to now." I confess.

"I'm tired, honey." he admits and I nod with a sigh.

"I'm sorry." he apologizes softly as we look at each other.

"Don't be, it's okay." I tell him and he nods and kisses my forehead and lays beside me and lays his hand on my large bump and I sigh and close my eyes.

"Tell the baby to go to bed because i'ts mama wants to sleep." I whine and I hear Paul giggle as I continue to feel our unborn baby kick me over and over.

"It won't listen to me, love." I hear him reply and I nod and I get under the covers and so does he and we lay there together. I feel his hand on my back as his long fingers run up and down my spine and I smile at the sensation and I eventfully fall asleep, there next to my husband shortly after the baby stops kicking and dozes off too.


	31. Chapter 31

I wake up hours later at seven in the morning and I can't fall back asleep, I wish I knew why because the baby's asleep and so is Paul who lays next to me snoring lightly. I run my fingers over his cheek that's covered with prickly black hairs and I rest my other hand on my stomach as I watch my beautiful husband sleep. I slowly get out of bed and decide to take a nice bath and ah did it feel good to relax in the hot water in our big bath.

I lay my hands on my bump and I think about how I can't wait until our baby comes into the world. I wonder whether it's a boy or a girl, what he or she will look like, what Paul and I will name them and what they'll be like. The past year of my life has changed so drastically, I got engaged, I got married, I'm pregnant and it all is so great, I'm honestly so indescribably happy. My body has changed so much from being pregnant; the most obvious is my large protruding baby bump, my boobs are huge and more full, my butts even bigger, my face is fuller and my fingers and ankles are all chubby. Paul really likes how big my boobs and butt have gotten though, it's obvious and he's even said it. I love how we can tell each other anything. I hear footsteps in our room outside the slightly open door and a yawn and soon enough Paul walks in and sits on the toilet beside me.

"Morning love, what're you doing taking a bath at this time?" he says with a yawn and I smile as I feel the baby move a little bit, somebody's awake.

"I couldn't fall asleep when I woke up about twenty minutes ago." I say and he nods and rubs his eyes before he rests his chin in his palm.

"Is the baby awake?" he asks with a small yawn and I nod and he kneels beside the tub and I place his hand where the baby just kicked and he smiles as the baby kicks again.

"Our baby's gonna be a track star, J." he says and I giggle.

"I still want about 3 more, you know." he says and we both chuckle as his hand still lays on my wet belly and gently rubs it.

"Ugh, don't say that right now." I say as I sigh and rub my closed eyes and I hear him laugh.

"Either it'll be three or however many times it takes for a boy." he says in a playful tone and I groan thinking of having to carry even two more babies, let alone 3, it definitely is not enjoyable.

"We are not having eight kids, Paul." I say as my eyes are closed and I hear him laugh as I smile.

"Ah I know, I'm just joking. I don't really care what sex it is, as long as it's healthy and happy." he says and I open my eyes and smile at him and he smiles back. I sigh and sink lower into the warm bath water and Paul removes his hand and I place both of mine on my stomach as the baby continues to kick. I open my eyes and look to see Paul staring at me with a grin.

"What?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"Paul?" I ask a bit skeptical and he he blushes and looks at his lap and I sigh and look at him until he looks up and smiles at me and I stroke his cheek. He huffs and rests his chin on his hands that lay on the side of the tub and I sigh and close my eyes as I move my cramped legs. I open my eyes to see his eyes closed and I trace the outline of his perky lips and he smiles as he keeps his eyes closed.

"Remember when we first met and we were so innocent and young?" I whisper and he nods.

"Mmhmm, we didn't have a care in the world other than to be with the other." he murmurs and I nod to myself.

"Such simple times those were." I say and he laughs as I play with his long, black hair.

"Yeah now we're about to become parents." he says and I nod slowly to myself.

"I'm glad we had some years to ourselves before we started a family." I confess.

"Mm I agree." he says as I twirl a piece of his dark hair around my finger.

"What's wrong?" I ask him after a minute of silence.

"I don't wanna go to the studio today." he admits as I continue to play with his hair.

"Are you guys still fighting?" I ask.

"Yeah." he admits.

"I'm sorry." I say.

"It's not yer fault, love." he says softly.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask and he shakes his head 'no'.

"I love you, you know." he says.

"I love you too, very much". I say and he smiles as his eyes are still closed while my fingers are caught in his dark hair.

"I'm just gonna stay home with you today." Paul says with a yawn.

"Good, it's been awhile since you were home for the whole day." I say and he smiles as I tickle his neck.

"Yeah and I can get some stuff done in the baby's room. I can finally set up the crib and changing table." he says with another yawn.

"I'd appreciate it." I say.

"Mm." he mumbles with a nod.

"It'll get better, Paul." I say trying to sound hopeful.

"What if it doesn't, J?" he asks sadly as his eyes open and set on me.

"I-i dunno." I say a bit embarrassed.

"Hey it's okay, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, darling. I just, I hate having to go there when I know we'll fight, I hate it. But you, you make it better when I come home." he says apologetically and I smile at his last line.

"I hope so, I really try." I admit and he smiles at me.

"You do, J, a lot and I really appreciate it, love. I couldn't have wished for a better wife." he says sweetly.

"Really?" I ask nervously and he smiles.

"Yes, o' course, darling. I'm so happy to be married to you, for a number of reasons. The day we got married was the most happiest day of my life and every day I spend with you is a happy one. I know when our baby is born, it'll be an amazing, happy day, I just know it." he says sweetly and lays his hand on my belly and I smile at his words and he bends over and touches his lips to mine in a sweet kiss and I kiss him back.

"You still really make it hard to come up with something to say in return." I say with a smile and he laughs and kisses me again, pulls away and then sits back down beside the tub and we both look down to my belly that looks weird as the baby is moving.

"Looks like somebody is stretching!" Paul says and I nod with a smile as we both watch an elbow protrude from my stomach, it's beautiful to witness.


	32. Chapter 32

"Paul, do you think I'll be a good mom?" I say nervously as each one of our hands rests on my stomach as the baby kicks.

"O' course I think you'll be a good mum, I think you'll be a fantastic mum, J!" he says and I look to him and we both smile.

"Honest?" I say and he nods and rests his chin on his right arm while both of our left hands lay on my stomach and I look to them as both of our wedding rings shine from the bathroom light. Paul's simple gold band and my gold band with one large diamond and several little diamonds as three separate bands were welded together from my engagement ring and another ring. They're both beautiful and they represent such an amazing love and the little pair of feet that keeps kicking below our hands was made from our love and displays our undying love for each other.

"Yes darling, honest. Why do you think otherwise?" he asks bringing me out of my thoughts and I turn to him and his eyes are set on me.

"I dunno, i'm just nervous and afraid." I admit and I look back to my belly as I feel my unborn child kick.

"What're you afraid of?" he asks quietly.

"The birth, being able to handle everything, and you being at the studio." I admit and I croak out the last line as I confess it and I avoid his gaze and he enlaces his right hand with mine and I turn to look at him.

"You don't need to be afraid, of any of those things. I promise i'll take care of you two and I'll never let anything happen to you, that's what the husband does and I love you both very very much. Don't fret, love." he says softly as we look at each other and he kisses my hand and I nod with a sigh.

"I'm taking off the first few weeks anyways, I'll be around, I promise. I wouldn't of wanted us to have a baby if I thought I wouldn't be there, but I will be, a lot, I promise." he says and I can tell he's being genuine and I nod and he kisses me and he goes to get the phone that's ringing and I get out of the tub and change and lay on the bed with a yawn. I close my eyes and shortly hear Paul come into the room and lay beside me and drape his arm over my middle.

"I'll always take care of you." I hear him softly say and he kisses my temple and I open my eyes to see him gazing at me and he strokes my cheek.

"I know." I mutter and he kisses my nose and I smile.

"I love you, Jackie." he says as his long fingers stroke my round cheek.

"I love you, Paul." I say and he kisses my forehead lovingly.

I close my eyes with a sigh and I sit up and move so we can spoon and he drapes his arm back over me and it rests on my bump and I lay mine on top of his as his long body is pressed against the back of mine.

* * *

I had a baby shower later in the week and it was a lot of fun as Paul hung out with his dad and brother, rather then hanging out with the 3 guys, things are getting rough between them. We got a lot of stuff for the baby from it; dozens of outfits for both genders and clothes in general, a stroller, different kinds of diapers, bottles and loads of other things that Paul and I just stashed in the closet of the baby's room. The baby's nursery is so far looking good, the crib and changing table is set up and we put a rocking chair in there and we decided to paint the walls after the baby comes, whenever we'd get the opportunity or the energy. Over the next month I get more and more uncomfortable as my belly gets bigger and the baby grows more and I get more sick of being pregnant, from the hormones, my body pains, swollen ankles, occasional morning sickness and I just want to hold my baby.

* * *

I wake up one morning during my eighth month to Paul laying beside me with his hand on my large bump as he has a smile on his face while murmuring to the baby.

"Good morning, beautiful." he says softly and I sigh and lay my head back down.

"Mm hi." I say as I rub my eyes and he kisses my smooth belly a few times.

"What're you saying to the baby?" I ask curiously as I move my arm to rest my head on it.

"Oh just random stuff." he answers while rubbing my belly and I nod and close my eyes but no sleep is achieved from the baby kicking me, which woke me up.

**AN: I would really love to hear what you think of these parts!**


	33. Chapter 33

**AN: This is kind of a big part and the next one especially! I hope you like them and feel free to leave a review! **

The next few weeks go by both fast and some times slow, as Paul and I do our last minute things to prepare for the baby's arrival and we're both very excited but also nervous.

"I am huge." I say to Paul as him and I are laying on the bed and I lay my hands on my baby bump.

"Our baby is gonna be a chubby one." Paul says and I sigh and cover my eyes with my arms. I hope the baby isn't too big that I'd have to get a c section, I really hope it won't go that way.

Today is November 18th and I'm 2 days overdue but it's not a worry. Hopefully our baby will be here by Thanksgiving and I won't have this enormous belly for much longer.

"It's okay." I hear Paul say as he moves my arms and strokes my cheek and I give him a weak smile and he kisses my forehead a few times with his warm lips.

"I just want this baby out." I whine.

"I know you do love, so do I." he says and he places his hand on my bump as the baby is sleeping or just not kicking much, which with the limited room it's understandable. The fans were not exactly happy when it was confirmed by Paul that we're expecting a baby, months ago. I heard most were happy but the few who seem to really hate me weren't, oh well. My parents are flying in tomorrow and hopefully the baby will come during their week of stay. I groan and close my eyes as I try to relax and move my cramped legs.

"Wanna a back rub?" Paul asks and I smile and nod as I sit up and he moves so I'm sitting between his legs and I rest my hands on my bump as I feel his strong hands start to work wonders on my achey back.

* * *

Over the next four days not much changes or happens as the baby decides to stay in and we all wait for he or she to make an appearance. Paul's in the music room with my dad and my mom and I are in the living room casually chatting now. I had been having contractions for the past few hours but they're not strong or too close and I don't wanna get my hopes up so I just think it may be false labor unless it gets worse. I look to my watch to time them to see how far apart they are and I realize maybe this isn't false labor because they're getting closer and stronger.

"Paul!" I call as my mom is in the bathroom.

"What, babe?" I hear him call back.

"Will you come down here please?" I answer and I soon hear his footsteps.

"What is it, love?" he asks as he stops in front of me in black dress pants and a black turtleneck.

"You know how I said I was having contractions but they may just be false labor?" I say and he nods and sits down beside me.

"I think we need to go to the hospital because they're getting closer." I say and he smiles and we talk more for a second and he rushes upstairs to get my bag for the hospital and we both drive to the hospital.

Paul and I both got impatient when the baby wasn't yet here by the 9 hour mark of my labor and it was going a bit slow but it eventually sped up when I hit 6 centimeters. Childbirth is the worst pain I've ever gone through and I could tell Paul was uncomfortable seeing me in pain and I tried my best to comfort him. He was so great during the whole labor, coaching me, getting me ice, staying up for most of it even when I told him he could sleep, and being brave enough to watch the baby actually come out when it finally did.


	34. Chapter 34

Paul and I's first child together was born at 4 in the afternoon after 14 hours of labor on November 23rd of 1968. Paul cut the cord and the baby was perfectly healthy and weighed 7 pounds and 5 ounces and measured 20 inches, our little baby finally made an appearance.

After being measured, weighed and cleaned up our baby is handed to me from the nurse and I move the blanket to find the pink face of Paul and I's son. He yawns and Paul and I both smile at the adorable sight as he's sitting next to me on my left with his arm around my shoulder. I watch as our son's wide eyes look around and set themselves on me and I stroke his soft cheek as I smile and his pink lips are parted. Newborns do look a bit funky when first born, but he's beautiful and I think he is a spitting image of Paul. I look to Paul whose eyes are set on the little baby in my arms with a smile on his face and I smile at the new father, the father of my child and he notices me looking at him and he pecks me. I look back to our son who is not named yet and I think of the boy name that's apart of our two names and how that one just fits him perfectly. I slip off his cloth hat to see long locks of dark hair that look exactly like Paul's and I look over my baby's face and admire the features he inherited from his father. His eyes look a mix between my almond shaped eyes and Paul's round eyes, beautiful curious eyes that are focused on me with thin, dark lines being his eyebrows above his dashing eyes that look like a mix of green and brown, more green and ah they're gorgeous. I let my eyes fall to his perfect lips that are slightly parted and they look a lot like mine I must admit. He definitely inherited the gene of chubby cheeks from both parents as he has adorable chubby cheeks and his nose is a little slope that I run my finger over. I touch my lips to his soft forehead and I run my eyes over my new child.

"Here, you can meet your daddy." I say to my baby and I hand him to Paul's eagerly awaiting arms and we both marvel at our creation as he stares up at his father who has a big grin spread on his face. I rest my head on Paul's shoulder and run my fingers over our baby's dark strands of hair that cover his small head.

"What do you think we should name him?" I say and Paul looks to me still with that grin of his as i smile too.

"Gabriel?" he says and I nod quickly since that's the name I was thinking of for him.

"Gabriel James McCartney." I say and we both smile at the name we chose for our son.

"Hi, Gabriel, I'm yer dad." Paul coos to him and I smile as Gabriel has already easily enchanted Paul and my husband looks so in love.

I watch as Gabriel starts to cry and Paul frowns and I take him from him to try and calm him down and I lay him under my gown skin to skin and he stops and sucks on his little fist. The nurse comes in to guide me through nursing him and I quickly get the hang of it as Gabriel eats hungrily and he does a good job. I stroke his soft cheek all while and his small hand wraps itself around my pointer finger as I smile at him and Paul overlooks from my shoulder.

"He's perfect." I say as I look to Paul and we both smile.

"He sure is." he answers and I touch my lips to his in a sweet peck.

"I love you." I say as we continue to look at each other and he tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"I love you too." he says.

"Thank you for giving us him." he says.

"You're welcome, but you had a large part in it too so thank you." I say and he smiles and kisses my cheek and we both look back to Gabriel whose looking between Paul and I with curious eyes.

"Hi, honey." I coo to him as I run my finger over the hairs on his head.

He finishes eating after half an hour and Paul and I spend time holding him after that as we both admire our beautiful son.

* * *

"I think he looks a lot like you." I say as my head rests on Paul's shoulder while he's holding Gabriel who's rubbing his eyes as he's very sleepy and struggling to keep his eyes open.

"I think he looks like you." he answers and I giggle and bury my face into Paul's neck and close my eyes as i'm tired and very sore from giving birth.

"I'm very proud of you, you know. Words can't even describe how proud I am of you." I hear Paul say and I smile into his warm neck and unbury my face to look at him.

"Thanks." I say as we look at each other as we're both so incredibly happy and in a blissful state, even though we're both tired and my body is in horrible pain.

"I know it wasn't easy carrying him for nine months and having given birth to him, so I really admire you for that. You're such a strong woman, J." he says sweetly and i smile and thank him.

"Mind taking him while I go get yer parents and my dad?" he asks and I shake my head and take Gabriel from him and he kisses my cheek and leaves the room.

"Hi, Gabriel." I say to my baby as he rubs his eyes and fights off the sleep that is so close to taking over his body.

"Go to sleep, honey, it's okay." I say softly to him and kiss his head and he's out like a light not too short after.

Paul walks in with my parents and his dad after a few minutes as they're lightly chatting all with smiles on their faces while my eyes are firmly set on my baby boy who lays in my arms as he's bundled up in a blanket and his little hat is back on his small head as he dozes in my arms. I'm a mother. Paul's a father. Both to the little boy whose in my arms and who stole both of our hearts the minute we first saw him. Paul and I have a son, we have a child. I have a family, we're a family.


	35. Chapter 35

My parents and Paul's dad were so happy to meet Gabriel and to hold him. The next few days at the hospital go well as Paul and I get into Gabriel's routine and learn how to take care of a newborn 24/7. Paul is such a great father and he already loves Gabriel so very much and so do I, we both love him a lot. The next five days after Gabriel was born were full of; diaper changes, visitors, feedings, short naps for all three of us McCartney's, little laundry and so many other things. The house got messy fast as neither of us had the energy or time to do laundry because of the baby's needs and being a parent is a constant, never ending job. Paul and I had to adjust quickly to putting Gabriel's needs before our own, making sure he's fed and has a clean diaper, and personal time is very limited as we have this little newborn to take care of. Our free time when Gabriel is sleeping is spent as we nap and try to catch up on missed sleep. We both had no idea that being a new parent was going to be this incredibly hard and exhausting, we thought it'd be hard to an extent but we couldn't have expected it to be this time consuming and tiring. Nonetheless we both love our son unconditionally and wouldn't trade being a parent to him for anything. Paul and I don't talk as much as we usually do as my parents stayed for two days after he was born and just being so busy with everything.

* * *

"Will you change his diaper?" Paul asks me as I'm trying to pick up dirty clothes off the floor of our room and I planned on taking a bath in a minute.

"Can't you? I'm busy and tired." I answer.

"I'm tired and I'm busy too, can't you just do it?" he retorts and I sigh and pick up crying Gabriel and change his diaper and Paul stomps downstairs, somebody is not in a good mood.

_Paul's POV_

For the most part I love being a dad, apart from the poopy diapers and being sleep deprived, but I can't help but smile while holding my adorable son. It's been a tough past five days as Jackie and I are both tired and time is a problem. I've been a bit snappy with her today as I'm tired and I just want twenty minutes alone to myself in silence. I told her to change his diaper and I snapped when she complained and I go downstairs and I hear the phone start to ring as I'm at the bottom of the stairs and i pick it up.

"Hello?" I say with a sigh as I sit on the couch and scratch my thin beard.

"Is Jackie there?" I hear a male voice, obviously American.

"Who's this?" I ask. Why would a guy from America be calling my wife and how did he get our number?

"I'm a friend of hers, Eric Brooks." he says and I nod to myself. Am I really on the phone with my wife's ex boyfriend right now? She's never told me much about him and now I'm a bit suspicious as to why he'd be calling and why she's never told me about him, we tell each other everything.

* * *

I change Gabriel's diaper and set him back in his bassinet and stick his pacifier in his mouth and he falls back asleep as Paul walks into the bedroom.

"How come you never told me 'bout yer ex Eric?" he says in a ticked off tone as he stands in front of me sporting his dark beard, sweatpants and a t shirt. Why is Eric coming up all of a sudden? I told Paul about him once or twice, but I left out the stuff I'm ashamed and embarrassed of, what I couldn't bring myself to tell Paul.

"Why is he being brought up all of a sudden?" I ask.

"Because he was just on the phone wanting to talk to you and I managed to get out of him that apparently you cheated on me with him back when we were in the states last March?" he says in an angry tone. Eric is the kind or guy who's manipulative and always wants attention. I've never cheated on Paul and I'd never want to be with him after what happened.

"What?!" I say.

"Tell me the truth, Jackie. Have you ever cheated on me?!" he asks yelling a bit and I hope Gabriel won't wake up.

"No, never!" I say truthfully but he huffs and crosses his arms.

"Have you ever cheated on me?" I ask and he looks to his feet, avoiding my question.

"You have, haven't you?" I say.

"Paul!" I say angrily.

"I haven't!" he exclaims lifting up his eyes to lay on me and I believe him, but should I so easily?

"What else did Eric say?" I ask.

"Nothing, he wouldn't budge when I asked him what happened between you two. What happened, Jackie?" he pleas in a slightly sad tone and I look to my feet. I can't tell him, I just can't. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me in a tight hug and I start to cry into his chest.

"You can tell me." I hear him say nervously and shaky. I shake my head into his chest while he rubs my back. The only person other then him and me that knows what happened is Holly and she swore to never tell.

"Please tell me, you're worrying me." I hear him softly say as tears continue to escape my eyes.

"I didn't cheat on you with him or anybody, ever." I murmur into his chest.

"I know you never would, love. I dunno why you're so afraid to tell me." he answers.

"I can't, Paul. I can't." I mumble into his chest and I faintly hear him sigh.

"Yes you can, Jackie. You can tell me anything, you know that." he says.

What do I do? What will he think when I tell him? I never told him and I wish I could take it back, I really wish I could but I'm afraid. I hate Eric for what he did to me and what he took away from me, what he forced upon me, what happened during our relationship was a nightmare. All through our relationship it was, and thats probably why it was so hard to lose Paul that one time.


	36. Chapter 36

"Jackie, what happened?" I hear Paul ask and I take a minute to decide to tell him. What's the worse that could happen?

"He abused me the four months we were together, hit me, pushed me around, touched me without my consent and gave me cuts and bruises." I admit into his chest and I hear him sigh and his arms slightly loosen around me but tighten their grip again.

"Oh Jackie, why didn't you tell me this?" he says as he moves away to look at me with his sad eyes and he wipes away my tears.

"Because I'm ashamed and embarrassed that I let a man do that to me for that long." I admit and he pulls me into another hug.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Ah I wish that had never happened to you, i'm so sorry. Who all knows?" he says in a very sad and remorseful tone.

"Just Holly." I admit.

"You didn't try to press charges against him?" he asks surprised as he pulls away to look at me and I shake my head, I was too nervous for him to hurt me again if I did. He kisses my forehead and lets go to walk towards the door.

"Where are you going?" I ask and he stops to look at me.

"To get a flight to the states so I can go kick the shit out of that bastard." he says. That's definitely my husband, being so protective.

"It won't make it any better, Paul!" I protest.

"It'd make me feel a whole lot better." he says and I sigh. As much as I'd the smallest bit like to see that, Paul is famous and he'd probably get put in jail, we don't need even more attention brought to us.

"I want to tell 'im off, J. Hell he needs to be told off, he can't just walk the streets thinking it's okay to treat a woman like that, let alone my own wife!" he says and I smile inside at Paul.

"I'd rather he be in jail or something. I know you could kick the crap out of him, but honestly Paul he isn't worth it and you don't need the attention of that brought to you." I say and he nods and stuffs his hands in his pockets.

"We're calling the cops then, he needs to be dealt with in some way." he says and I nod as I let him be the man and husband. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist and touches his lips to my face in several little kisses as I giggle and he stops and rests his forehead on mine.

"I'm so sorry." he says as we look at each other and I nod and he presses his lips to mine in a kiss.

"I won't let him or anybody else hurt you ever again, I promise." I hear him say as my head is buried into his chest and the phone rings again and Paul picks up the one in our room.

_Paul's POV_

I can't believe this. The man who I had spoken to on the phone not even ten minutes ago hurt my dear Jackie, my wife, the love of my life, the mother of my child. She won't let me go beat the lights out of this prick, which I so desperately want to do. I pick up the phone to hear the voice I heard ten minutes ago, he's just asking for it, isn't he?

"Is Jackie-." he says before I intentionally cut him off.

"Stop calling her, you pathetic bastard. My wife will never want to talk to you and I have no bloody idea how you got our number. I hope you feel like a worthless, pathetic bastard who is so disgusting because of what you did to her!" I say as I try my best to not yell my loudest at this idiot.

I hang up not caring for his response and I don't want to hear his voice again. I turn back to my Jackie whose sitting beside me on our bed staring at her hands and I pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. I must admit I'm hurt she didn't tell me at first and that she was afraid to, but she ended up telling me and I never suspected it and I know to not pry with her and let her divulge what she feels comfortable to me. I feel so horribly for my poor baby, my wife, my love, my Jackie who was used and hurt by this bastard and she lays there in my arms until we both lay down and she falls asleep safe there in my arms. Will I always be able to keep her safe? What if I can't always keep her safe?

I wake up to the phone ringing and I unplug it from the wall and pull the covers up to my shoulders and snuggle back into my lovely wife.

* * *

I go back to the studio about two weeks later, unfortunately to the bickering, negative atmosphere of everybody fighting, I hate it and I'd much rather be with my wife and new son. Jackie and I got into the swing of being new parents and we learned how to manage time and things in general.

"Paul, the phones for you!" I hear John call to me as I'm messing around on the piano. I thank him and walk up to the control room and pick up the phone with a 'hello'.

"Paul?" I hear Jackie say and I sit down in a chair as I'm alone in the control room and I notice her sad, panicked voice.

"Jackie, is something wrong?" I say as my eyebrows are furrowed.

"Paul, Eric keeps calling and he's here in London apparently. Paul, I'm scared." she informs me and I sigh and scratch my beard. He just won't give up won't he?

"I'll be home in a few, love. Don't worry and don't answer the phone." I say and she says 'yes' and I drive home to find her pacing in the living room while Gabriel sleeps in his bassinet in the living room, safe and sound.

"Ey it's okay, it'll be okay. I won't let anything happen to you." I say as I walk up to her and wrap my arms around her and she buries her face into my neck and I rest my cheek on her head and rub her back.

"He said he wants to see me." she says and I sigh quietly.

"Well he won't, I can assure you that." I say and she nods into my neck and the phone rings and we both look to it. We called the cops about pressing charges, but I guess he fled the country for here, where my family and I are. My wife and my precious newborn son. I answer the phone as Jackie sits by me and has her hand wrapped around my arm. I've forgotten to change our number, dammit.

"Yer not gonna talk to her or see her, you know." I say into the receiver and I hear a laugh.

"That's what you think, Mr. I'm this rich, famous celebrity who could have all the protection in the world." he says and I roll my eyes.

"Really what do you want?" I plea.

"Her." he says not to my surprise.

"Yer not going to get her and i advise that you stop calling this number or else you'll be deeper in this hole that you've dug for yourself." I say sternly and he hangs up, thank goodness. I turn to Jackie and I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head repeatedly, I can't lose her.

I don't go back to the studio because I feel that I should stay here with my wife and newborn child and I call my buddy Mal to hang out and somewhat protect us, I feel it's needed.


	37. Chapter 37

"I wish you would've told me earlier about what happened with Eric, like years ago when we first started dating." Paul says to me as we're laying in bed later that night. I felt threatened and scared when he called earlier saying he wanted to see me and was mad that I called the cops about what happened 5 years ago, but I let Paul take over and do what he thought right and I was glad he did it.

"I know." I mumble in reply as I'm laying in his arms with my head on his chest and his arms around my waist. I hear him sigh and he runs his fingers up and down my back under my shirt.

"I'm gonna change the number tomorrow." I hear Paul say and I nod into his chest.

"Do you want to talk anymore about what happened between you two?" I hear him ask and I quickly shake my head into his chest and he rubs my back. Today has been enough for me and I don't want to think about or relive those horrible memories. I feel a few tears escape my eyes and land on Paul's chest and he wraps his arms tighter around me and continues to rub my back.

"Shhh it's okay. I won't let him hurt you again, I promise you." I hear him say and I slowly nod into his chest and I soon fall asleep there melded into my husbands body with his strong, safe arms wrapped around me.

* * *

We both wake up to Gabriel crying loudly and I unwrap Paul's arms from around me to get up and feed Gabriel. I lay back down next to Paul after doing so and he stays motionless as I lay beside him and try to snuggle into his sleeping body. Yes I wish I would've told him sooner, but I wasn't sure what he would say and i didn't want it getting any worse, I actually just wanted to forget about all of it and leave it in the past where it happened. I feel Paul stir in the bed and flip over to face me and his arms pull me into his body and I welcome his warm body against mine and he kisses my forehead and I cuddle into his chest.

"I love you." I hear him mumble sleepily as I feel his wedding ring on the skin of my lower back where his hand rests.

"I love you too." I answer and we both quickly fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up to a better day where Paul stays home for the day and luckily we get some laundry done and I have the time to cook a good meal for once.

"Hi there." I hear Paul say as he comes up from behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and folds his hands over my stomach, my gross stomach that looks disgusting after having a baby.

"Don't." I say as I move his hands away but he rests them on my hips instead as I rinse some dirty dishes.

"Don't do what?" I hear him say into my ear as his chin rests on my shoulder.

"Touch my stomach." I mutter.

"I'm yer husband, why can't i?" I hear him answer.

"Because my stomach is disgusting." I say.

"No it isn't, plus J you can't expect it to look like what it did before you had the baby in a matter of two weeks." I hear him answer and I let him wrap his arms around my waist but he doesn't touch my stomach with his hands.

I soon feel his warm lips on my neck in my most sensitive places and I exhale as he caresses my neck with his lips as they work up and down in my neck in an exhilarating way and I place the dirty bowl back in the sink. I turn around to see Paul looking at me with his bedroom eyes and I shake my head and he pouts.

"We can't for 4 more weeks at the least." I say as I rest my forehead against his and he humphs and continues to pout.

We both lean in to close the short distance between our lips and we meet in an incredibly sweet and passionate kiss and he pushes me back to lean against the counter. I lock my fingers into his long, dark hair as his perfect lips move against mine passionately and mine move against his as we share this rare moment of intimacy between each other since Gabriel is sleeping in his swing in the living room and we've barely had time to make out since his arrival and we've only cuddled. Paul pulls away when we both get short of air and his wet lips move to my pale neck and he moans against my neck and I kind of feel bad to tease him like this, but he knows we can't have sex until after my post natal check up. Plus I'm not really in the wanting mood to have sex and I doubt I will be for awhile and I've been told my Mo and Sarah that our sex life probably won't return to normal for at the least 4 months maybe, it all depends. I feel Paul finger the band of my sweatpants and I laugh and move his hand away and he sighs as he takes his lips away from my neck and rests his forehead on my chest. I run my fingers through his incredibly long hair that has changed so much from when we met almost 5 years ago.


	38. Chapter 38

Paul pulls me into a hug and I stand there with his strong arms wrapped around me and I know that nothing bad could ever happen as long as I'm with him. I shouldn't be afraid of Eric anymore because I have Paul; my husband who loves me unconditionally, he's the wonderful father to my child, he's always protected me and cared about me and kept me safe. I close my eyes as I inhale his incredibly familiar scent as our arms are around each other and I feel him kiss the top of my head and I look up at him to see a grin on his beautiful face.

"I love you." he says and he touches his lips to mine for a sweet second before pulling away.

"I love you too." I say with a smile and he moves his nose past mine in a cute Eskimo kiss and I giggle lightly all while. We have our eyes set on each other as I gaze at my beautiful husband who has really matured, grown and changed compared to when we had first met.

He's grown a dark beard, his hair is long and he's a father, he's my husband. I hope he's happy, because if I want anything for him it's to be happy and content. I know the problems at the studio have been weighing heavy on him ; easily altering his mood, making him crabby and sad, making him lose hope that the Beatles will last much longer. I hate seeing him like this and I wish I knew what I could do to help. I touch my lips to his and sweetly kiss him as he kisses me back and he again backs me up to lean against the counter while his strong hands rest on my lower back and mine on the back of his neck as we continue to passionately kiss and I soon feel his slick tongue in my mouth and I poke mine out to play with his. I feel his warm hand slip under my shirt and press itself against my back and he leans more into the kiss as he makes it a deeper kiss and I continue to passionately kiss him and show how much I love him. I pull away and he looks to me with longing eyes and I press my lips back against his and he eagerly kisses me back and we're interrupted by the phone ringing and so I pull away and he groans. I giggle and he follows me into the living room where I pick up the phone and he immediately hugs me from behind and starts to kiss my neck, what a distraction he is. I answer the phone and it's Holly asking how things are and how all three of us are and I answer her and I ask her when she can come to see Gabriel as Paul continues to press his warm lips to my neck and it's driving me crazy, in a good way.

"Paul." I say with a laugh as I shove his wandering hand away from the band of my sweatpants and he whines into my neck and enlaces his hand with mine as it rests on top of mine. Holly hangs up after a minute and I turn around to face a pouting Paul and I laugh and he frowns.

"Aw my poor baby." I say and he nods while using his puppy dog eyes on me.

"Let's go cuddle." I say and he quickly nods and we go upstairs with Gabriel and I get into bed next to Paul.

I stroke whats exposed of his cheek as his eyes are shut and I push his long hair back as his left hand rests on my butt, typical Paul. I decide to tease him just a little, so I push his hair away and I move towards his neck and start to slowly caress his neck with my pair of lips and I hear him softly moan as I continue to move up and down his pale neck, kissing every inch of his smooth neck, or what his beard isn't taking up. I stop kissing his neck for a second and I hear him whimper and I grin and lay back on the pillow and he opens my eyes and pouts.

"J." he whines and I fight back a large grin and laugh as he looks at me with his irresistible bedroom eyes and with those luscious lips of his, but i resist and sex is the last thing on my mind right now, honestly.

"Hmm?" I say and he whimpers again and buries his face into his pillow.

I drape my arm over his midsection and cuddle up to his long back and I soon feel his hand rest on top of mine and he tangles his long legs with mine and he rests his foot on top of mine as they exchange heat. I love him so much and I could have never expected to be so blessed with him, my husband Paul. I kiss his neck and return my chin to his broad shoulder and I close my eyes and shortly fall asleep as I think about memories of Paul and I from Hawaii years ago, our first trip in '65.

* * *

"Jackie, wake up!" I hear Paul say as he runs his hand over my forehead and I move and open my eyes to see him sitting beside me.

"Hmm?" I say as I notice his worried look.

"Are you okay? You were tossing like mad and you kept on murmuring something." he says and I rub my eyes as I try to remember what happened and then I remember:

I had dreamt about Eric, him coming back and finding me. He found me somehow and Paul wasn't there and neither was Gabriel, just me and him and he has a sinister grin on his face. I remember the dream portraying him chasing me and I tried to run away and I kept yelling Paul's name and I kept hearing Paul's voice faintly calling mine, but he never came. I woke up before he caught me, thank goodness.

I sigh and look around the room and my eyes fall on Gabriel's bassinet and I get up and pick my baby up.

"Darling, he's fine." Paul says and I nod and sit down on the bed and cuddle my baby boy as he sleeps in my arms.

I kiss the top of his head that's covered with dark locks of black hair that are identical to Paul's and I lightly rub his back and I rest my cheek on his small head. Paul moves over to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder and I snuggle into him and he lays his head on top of mine.

"What's the matter?" I hear him quietly say and I look down to my baby and I run the back of my finger across his plump cheek as his heart shaped lips are slightly parted.

"Bad dream." I answer while still looking at Gabriel.

"What about?" he asks softly.

"Eric." I admit.

"Want to talk about it?" he asks and I think of how he can always make me feel better so I say yes.

"I was alone with him, you weren't there and neither was Gabriel. I kept calling for you and you'd answer saying my name, but you never came." I say and I hear him sigh.

"Oh Jackie, I'm sorry. It was just a dream though, because I'll always protect you and be there for you, always and he's in jail, love. Far back in the states so we have nothing to worry about." he says sweetly and I nod while tracing the shape of Gabriel's full lips, he looks so much like Paul.


	39. Chapter 39

I walk over to Gabriel's bassinet to lay him back down and I lay back down with Paul and he pulls me into him and he wraps his strong arms around me as I snuggle into his warm, inviting body. I bury my face into his neck as I feel his large hands rubbing my back and I sigh and close my eyes and let my eyes wander but Gabriel starts to cry. I get out of Paul's embrace and carry Gabriel who's wide awake and looking around, to our bed.

"Hi honey." I coo to him as I sit down on the bed and lay him on my bent knees and Paul moves over to me and smiles at Gabriel.

"How was yer little nap, bud?" Paul coos to him as his butterscotch eyes dart from me to Paul. He's two weeks and three days, it's already gone by so fast.

I brush my thumb over the strands of black hair that cover his head and I look over his lively face as his eyes are focused on Paul. I think of how blessed Paul and I are to have this little joy, our son we were blessed with. He's perfectly healthy, slowly putting on the weight, he sleeps good but wakes up every 2/3 hours to nurse, he's a happy baby for the most part, he loves to be cuddled and he hasn't posed any troubles with breastfeeding, thankfully. I smile at him as I stroke his plump cheek while his full, pink lips are parted as he stares at Paul with his round eyes that are almost the exact shade of Paul's beautiful eyes that I've loved ever since the day we met. I think he looks so much like Paul; with the black hair, hazel eyes, chubby cheeks and perfect, button nose. His little eyes move to me and I smile at him and shake his hand as it's wrapped around my finger and he smiles big at me and I smile back and kiss his hairy head. I love being a mom and I'm so blessed to have such an easy, happy baby as a first time mom. I look to Paul to see his eyes set on Gabriel with a small grin and I recognize the look of love in his eyes that he's had ever since he was born and I smile at the beautiful sight. I look back to my adorable son and I admire Paul and i's creation, he's so beautiful and I love him more then words could ever say.

I hear Paul yawn and we both lay down and I position Gabriel to lay stretched out on me with his head resting on my chest and I play with the hair on his head as he moves a little bit then slowly falls back asleep on my chest, he really loves his mommy. I have Paul hand me his blanket with little animals on it to drape over him and I lightly rub his back until he really drifts of to sleep there in my arms and I watch as Paul cuddles up to me as I lay on my back and we both smile at each other while gazing at the other. He pokes my nose which has me giggle and he grins and he moves to touch his pink lips to mine in a sweet kiss that lasts longer then a simple peck and his beard tickles me like always.

"I thought you said you'd never kiss me if I grew a beard?" Paul asks quietly as Gabriel is sound asleep.

"Nah, that'd be too hard as much as I prefer you clean shaven." I say as I scratch my neck while keeping one hand firmly on Gabriel's back. Paul snickers and I smile and look down to my baby whose moving a little bit and slightly opening his eyes and I kiss his forehead and he snuggles back into my body and closes his eyes again, he's such a doll, so adorable.

"When should we have our second baby, J?" Paul asks and I laugh at his question.

"Not for at least two years!" I answer as I stroke my pointer finger along Gabriel's pink arm.

"Ah c'mon, we gotta get moving, love! We're kinda getting old!" he says and I again giggle.

"Don't you remember that I'm dating an old duffer? I'm still 23 mister and you're only 26, we're still young." I answer with a small yawn and I rest my hands on my baby's small back.

I can't even imagine having another right now or anytime in the next year, with our messy house and how tired we both always are. Four sounds like a good number to me but I wouldn't want to have our second for at the least a year or two. I look down to my two week old newborn son and I remember fondly about when Paul and I first found out we were expecting and how happy we were and now he's here, our little baby boy is here. I rub his small feet as they're cold and I pull the comforter up to where his feet are and I glance back to my adorable baby boy. He's not a definite mommy's boy or daddy's boy but he spends mostly equal time with us both and we love to cuddle with our tiny love bug and to be holding him or talking to him when he's not sleeping, getting his diaper changed or being fed. I knew ever since we've been dating that Paul would be a fantastic father and how he wanted to be one, he has really proven how great he is at it and his love for his son and to be a father to him.


	40. Chapter 40

**AN: Ugh I really need to edit these parts and add things and change things but I have no time to. I think I'm gonna edit all of my work this summer when I have the time. I know that I need some cliffhangers at the end of each fic, and to edit grammar. I'm sorry that there are grammatical errors and that this part is short. I hope you're liking them and thanks for reading my rant before this, if you did haha. I hope you enjoy this following part! I'd love to read some reviews from you guys!**

"I think it'd be nice to have a girl." Paul says as he stretches.

"Me too, if that happens. You seem to like to make boys though." I say and we both giggle with grins on our faces.

"You never know." he says while looking at me and I nod and he moves closer to me to to lay on his side and lay his head on his arm beneath his head.

I look back to Gabriel who's sound asleep and I again run my finger over his little ringlets of black hair and I think of how happy Paul and I both are but then I think of how troubled Paul is about the band fighting and not getting along. I feel bad to see him go through it and to see him come home sad from it, it's been his life for the past at the least 8 years and now it doesn't look all too promising. Even for me it's surprising to see this happen to them when I think of when I first met them and how tight knit they were and how well they got along and to compare it to now.

"Would you mind if I went to the studio for an hour or two today to record a song quick?" Paul asks and I shake my head 'no' and I come up with a great idea.

"Could Gabriel and I come with? The guys haven't seen him since he was first born." I say and I see a smile spread across his face.

"I'd love it if you two came. George our producer keeps on telling me to bring him so he can finally meet our little baby and I'm sure everybody would be glad to see him." he says with a warm smile as he talks about his producer and I nod and he kisses my forehead. We both get up and I go to change Gabriel into a warmer and cleaner outfit as he was just in a onesie that has his spit on it and I walk to his nursery and lay him on the changing table.

"How does leaving in erm twenty minutes sound, love?" I hear Paul call to me from the bedroom.

"Good, I'm gonna feed him before anyways." I answer.

"Alright, I'm gonna take a quick shower and get dressed." he calls back and I say 'okay' in return. I unbutton Gabriel's blue onesie as he wakes up and rubs his eyes with his small hands and stretches.

"Well good morning." I coo to him and he drops his hands and stares at me with his sleepy eyes, he is such a cutie and I love him so much. Paul and I sure do make cute babies.

I undo his heavy diaper and luckily he only peed and he starts to cry and I frown and quickly wipe him and put on a fresh diaper but he doesn't stop and I bend down to get an outfit off one of the shelves attached to the changing table. I find a pair of light blue pants and a striped blue and white onesie with long sleeves and I quickly get him dressed and gather him into my arms and he stops crying once I pick him up and I walk over to the rocking chair to feed him and he eagerly eats. I look around the room as I slowly rock in the chair while Gabriel eats and I think of how Paul and I need to paint the room and decorate a bit more but we ultimately haven't had the time or the energy to. I yawn and move my arm a bit that holds his head and I move the pillow that lays underneath him for cushion and so my arm won't get tired and I brush my finger over Gabriel's chubby cheek as he stares up at me with his round eyes that are a mix of Paul's large doe eyes and my almond shaped eyes, he has beautiful eyes in the simplest of words. His hazel eyes keep looking up at me as he pats his small hand on my chest and I take his little hand into mine and he wraps it around my thumb and I smile at him as all of his attention is on me while he eats. I watch as his eyes get droopy and heavy and he blinks hard to try and wake up and I giggle at him trying to stay awake as so many babies fight off sleep so many times as he's doing and I run my finger over his cheek as his hand still grips my thumb and his heavy eyes flutter shut and he stops eating. I rub my finger under his chin to see if he'll continue to eat and he does for a minute with his heavy eyes that open but struggle to stay open and he falls asleep again and I hold him up and lay him on my shoulder with a burp rag under his mouth. I pat and rub his small back to see if he wants to burp. I continue to lightly rub his small back and I hear footsteps and Paul enters with wet hair in navy blue dress pants and a dress shirt with gray stripes and with a smile on his face.

"I can burp him, love. You can go get dressed." he says as he walks toward me and I nod with a thankful smile as I hand him our small baby and I put the burp rag on his shoulder and I peck him quick and walk to our bedroom and quickly change into pants and a slightly baggy button up blouse, an old maternity blouse of mine.

**AN: This is the end of 'I Will'. I feel like it's kind of a lousy ending and that something big should happen at the end, but I wrote this months ago and I plan on editing it and working on it, but not yet. I really hope that you liked this fic and that this series hasn't disappointed. The sequel is called 'Maybe I'm Amazed' and the first part to it should be up soon! Thank you so much for reading my work and this series! **


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